


The Seven Points of the Badge

by DaynaWayna



Category: CHiPs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-05-20
Updated: 2008-05-20
Packaged: 2017-12-28 08:20:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 44,768
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/989829
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DaynaWayna/pseuds/DaynaWayna
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Every officer takes an oath as a soldier of the law, and his badge represents that honor. But what happens when an officer disregards that badge and everything it stands for? The men and women of Central come to grips with one man's demons and how it affects the police body as a whole.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Judgment

****

**JUDGMENT**  
 _The ability to apply knowledge to the best advantage of all concerned_.

Officer Craig Anderson was having a bad day, and it didn't look like things were going to let up any time soon. The officers around him changed quickly and left without a word, further punctuating his frustration. He looked at his reflection in the locker mirror: his usually neat dark blonde hair was mussed, and his hazel eyes reflected frustration, confusion and fear. His pleasant features were now unkind, reflecting his mood. He closed his locker door and walked into the hallway, stopping in surprise. Several officers appeared to be waiting for him and none looked happy. Steve McLeish was the first to speak.

"You just couldn't follow orders, could you Anderson? You couldn't leave well enough alone. Because of your poor judgment, two officers may lose their lives, not to mention nearly killing a close personal friend of mine who did nothing more than risk her own life to save-"

"That's enough McLeish!" Captain William Anderson strode in to view, and there was no denying the family resemblance. "Is there a problem here?"

A smattering of "No sir!" came from the cluster of officers before him.

"Then may I suggest you head back to your beats or home, or wherever you feel you need to be that isn't this station."

Some officers turned to leave, but Steve couldn't let go of his anger. "Make sure you tell Daddy exactly what happened!"

"In my office  **now**  McLeish! You too Anderson."

Steve stormed into the office and turned on his commanding officer the moment he entered the room. "There is absolutely no excuse for what he did out there today Captain. He endangered the lives of civilians and officers alike! If you had the-" he cut off his tirade just in time; the next words out of his mouth would have gotten him suspended, or worse.

"If I had the  _what,_ Officer McLeish?" The captain came around to his desk and sat down as he watched Steve fight for control.

_Now you've done it_ , Steve thought bitterly.  _Dad always said your temper would get you in trouble_... "Permission to speak freely, sir?"

"Granted."

"With all due respect, sir, if you had the balls to discipline your son, none of this would have happened in the first place. You show favoritism toward him and have let him slide where others have gotten suspended, and I personally am tired of watching Craig benefit from your badge and position when he screws up. This time it may very well cost two officers their lives!"

"How dare you!" He roared. "You're lucky I don't …"

As Steve got the tongue lashing of his career, Craig held his head in his hands.  _God my head hurts_... His thoughts were spinning out of control, his mind buzzing so that he couldn't follow the conversation around him. He knew McLeish had crossed the line with his dad because he could hear him bellowing. His head flooded with irrational thoughts that frightened him and he tried to push them away.  _I was only trying to help! It made sense at the time..._

"… believe you'd let him get away with this, sir."

"Just what exactly are you accusing Craig of, McLeish?"

"I am accusing him, sir, of gross negligence, refusal to follow orders, conduct unbecoming a CHP officer-"

The Captain was now standing behind his desk and slammed his hands on top of it causing the pencil holder to fall over and rattle the phone in its cradle.

"Enough! I don't want to hear another word about this for the rest of the day." Steve opened his mouth to respond but was instantly cut off. "Zip it McLeish or you'll find yourself suspended for a week. I will make sure a full and thorough investigation is started immediately, and that proper disciplinary action is followed for everyone involved and that  _includes my son_.  **Dismissed**!"

Steve spun on his heel and stormed out of the office, slamming the door so hard the wall trembled. Captain Anderson took a few deep breaths then looked at Craig, who hadn't moved or even seemed to register what was happening. He walked around the front of the desk, knelt before Craig and looked into his eyes.  _Damn it, not again! Why does this keep happening?_  He placed one hand on Craig's shoulder and the other on his wrist and applied firm pressure to both.

"Craig? Son, can you hear me? Snap out of it Craig..."

His eyes focused on the captain, "Dad? I'm... it's..."

"Have you taken the med-"

"No!" Craig jumped up and away from the captain. "That crap doesn't work so why should I take it? I can't do my job when I'm on it, or is that what you want? Is it dad, huh? It would make it real easy for you to suspend me if-"

"Craig that's enough!"

Will Anderson paced his office to gather his thoughts. He had seen the early news reports about the traffic accident on the 405 and was very worried about the officers who had been injured. But more disturbing were the reports that started filtering in about Officer Craig Anderson as more officers arrived on scene. At least two other officers besides McLeish reported that Craig was ordered by Jon Baker to cease his rescue efforts on Grossman because he was causing injury to the officer.  _I wish I knew what was happening to him..._

A voice cut through his thoughts, "Captain, you need to come see this." It was Turner, and the Captain noticed the black man was actually pale.

"Not now Turner."

"Sir, it's a new report about the accident... they have footage you might want to see..." he glanced meaningfully at Craig.

Turner led them back to the briefing room where it seemed half the department was watching the news report. There was the standard overhead view from the news chopper, but then it cut to ground level. It was a shot from behind the overturned cab of the double flat bed truck. There was a brunette woman on her knees, working feverishly on the trapped officer who had ended up pinned between the shattered windshield and the passenger door. Two officers were helping her, one with her at the injured man's head and the second on the other side of the cab at his feet. The Captain easily identified Baker with the woman and Anderson on the other side of the cab. The woman was directing them in the rescue efforts and the camera panned the scene of the accident. The noise on scene was a jumble of shouting and traffic noise from the northbound side, and the reporter directing the cameraman where to shoot next. And then a man was shouting followed closely by a woman screaming.

The camera swung around dizzily, looking for the commotion as another voice was heard ordering someone to stop. The camera came back to the cab of the truck just in time to see McLeish pull Anderson up with a firm grip. Baker and the woman were now frantic as they worked on the injured man. The image of Officer Sindy Cahill suddenly filled the screen, "Please turn off your camera…"

The news anchor came back on screen, "And that was the scene an hour ago on the Southbound 405 at National. Sources at Cedars Sinai Hospital tell us that both officers injured are in critical condition-"

"Turn it off," the Captain said in a tired voice. The room was heavy with silence as each officer processed what they had just seen. A few of them had been on scene but were not with Baker and the woman that had helped the victims, but had heard what happened from Baker and McLeish. Even though nothing could be seen on camera, the officers knew who screamed and why, and they also knew why McLeish had grabbed Anderson the way he did.

"Well isn't this just great? I've been made a fool of on national television! Let's throw a party, shall we?"

"That's enough Craig!" Captain Anderson thundered. He took a deep breath before addressing the briefing room, "Look. We're all under a tremendous amount of stress right now, and these damn news reports aren't helping anyone. If you're on duty, hit your beat or be wherever it is you need to be. If you're off duty, go home, or go to the hospital. Don't speculate about  _anything_  and for God's sake, don't start any rumors, either. You're all dismissed."

Craig glared at Turner and McLeish as he stormed out, followed more slowly by the rest of the officers. Captain Anderson sighed heavily, shaking his head.  _Tuesdays aren't supposed to be like this…What the hell happened out there today? And why would Craig..._  he thought back to the newscast, knowing it corroborated McLeish's story.  _Why would he do that? What's happening to him?_  He stood, sighed again as he grabbed his suit coat and looked around the now empty room. "I've gotta get down to the hospital and talk to that nurse."

-oOo-

This had to be the most horrific day of her life. Lindsey Buchanan was running on adrenaline and she knew the crash was coming, and soon. She had already put in a twelve hour shift at the hospital, and was now back here again, working on two officers, hell two  _friends_ , and had just about reached her limit.

She leaned against the wall, and ran her hands through her wavy shoulder length light brown hair, trying to get the images out of her head. She wasn't supposed to see how people got hurt; she was supposed to fix them when they arrived in ER. How no one was killed by that truck still boggled her mind and she thanked God for the forty-seventh time that neither of the two motor officers had been Steve.

It was hard enough to deal with seeing Bruce pinned under the wheel of the flatbed. Not that Bruce or Artie deserved to be involved, but she didn't know if she could have handled seeing Steve pinned under that cab or trailer. She shook her head and took a shaky breath.  _Oh Lindsey stop it! You have to keep it together just a little while longer._

Her pager went off and she headed to the nurses station. "What is it, Karen?"

"There's another CHP suit here to see you, Linds. I don't think you can get out of giving that statement any longer." Karen looked down at her friend and put a sympathetic hand on her shoulder. "The sooner you get this over with the better you will feel, you know that."

Lindsey nodded despondently, her brown eyes reflecting her nervousness. "You're right of course. But it was so hard to see them that way, Karen. I can deal with them bruised and bloodied on a stretcher, but to see them at the scene like that... It was horrible." She looked at the double doors leading to the ER waiting room and took a deep breath. "Pray for me. I'm gonna need all the strength I can get. Do you know if Steve is back yet? I really don't want to do this without him."

"I haven't seen him, I'm sorry."

"Well then, I guess it's time to go tell my story," she said with a sad smile. Lindsey walked out into the waiting room and her breath was stolen away. There must have been 30 uniformed and off-duty officers there; some still dirty from the accident scene, some just come from their beats or Central, and all looked at her expectantly when she entered.  _Oh dear God, I'm not ready for this. Think fast Linds 'ole girl, think! Oh no, please not Getraer... put your game face on... no emotion, not now... Steve where are you?_

"Any word yet Lindsey?"

She stood rooted to the spot with the classic 'deer in the headlights' look on her face. She forced herself to speak, not really knowing what to say. "I, ah... ummm, wow. There's so many of you." Several of the officers smiled and some even chuckled.

"You've obviously never witnessed this before, have you?" That was Ponch, always trying to make light of a serious situation.

She smiled, her composure somewhat restored, "Not to this degree, no. I wasn't expecting so many of you here. But of course you would be... I'm sorry Sergeant, what was the question?"  _Cute banter helps calm nerves. You're doing fine Linds._

"How are Bruce and Grossie?"

"I can tell you what little I know, but you'll have to get the full report from the doctors. When I got here with Bruce, they'd stabilized Officer Grossman enough to get him into surgery to repair his chest and his leg. He lost a lot of blood-"

"We can donate," Jon interjected.

"Thank you, Jon. We may very well take you up on that offer. But as I was saying, he's still in surgery and I haven't heard anything from OR 4, which is a good thing. As for Officer Nelson, it's a miracle he wasn't... well, it's just a miracle that he sustained so few injuries given the situation he was in."  _Don't lose it now Lindsey, focus!_  "He has a concussion, a dislocated shoulder and at least two broken ribs, one of which punctured his lung. He's been taken to OR 3."

One of the two men in suits stepped forward. "Miss Buchanan, I'm Lt. Rick Michelson, and I'm in charge of the investigation. If you're feeling up to it, I'd like to ask you about what happened out there today. Captain Anderson here and Sgt. Getraer will be joining us, if that's okay by you..."

"I'd like to be there too, sir." Steve made his way through the crowd.

"Yes, please!" The relief on her face shone like the sun.

The Lieutenant smiled and nodded. "Then it's settled. Is there a room where we can conduct this privately?"

Lindsey led them into a small conference room and they all sat down around the table. As Lt. Michelson set up the tape recorder Steve sat beside Lindsey and squeezed her hand reassuringly. "They won't be as bad as facing Principal Robertson and Mr. Carlisle in High School Buck, but I don't think the telling will be any easier." She laughed nervously and glanced at the three men across the table.

"I can safely assume you two have known each other for a while then?"

Lindsey nodded, "Yes Sir Lt. Michelson. Our families have been friends since we were in grade school. He's my oldest and closest friend."

"I keep tellin' you I'm not that old Buck!"

"C'mon Mickey, you know darn good and well that-"

"As heartwarming as this all is McLeish," Captain Anderson broke in, "we have an investigation to conduct and if we don't get started, I fear we may be worse than talking to Principal Robertson and Mr. Carlisle. And I hope that wasn't a derogatory comment either, especially after our discussion earlier today."

His tone was cold causing Lindsey's anxiety to return with force. She looked down nervously at her reflection on the conference room table while Steve glared at the captain angrily. Getraer made a mental note to have a talk with the Captain and McLeish separately and spoke to the group.

"Let's not make this any harder on Nurse Buchanan than it has to be gentlemen. Agreed?" They nodded and the sergeant looked at Lindsey. "Before we start I have to ask. How do you get Buck from Buchanan? Mickey from McLeish is easy enough, but Buck?"

"I can answer that one Sarge. See, for all her sweet and kind exterior, she's as stubborn as they come. She stood up to my older brother Toro once when we were kids, and he said trying to deal with her was like hitting heads with a buck. And the name stuck."

"Thanks for making me look good, Mickey. I appreciate it."

"But at least now you're smiling," Joe said kindly. "And now I know who I want taking care of me if I'm ever admitted." She blushed and Joe leaned forward slightly. "Now Lindsey, please tell us what happened out there today."

Michelson started the recorder. Gripping her friend's hand tightly, Lindsey began her story. "I had just finished my 12 hour shift here and was heading home on the 405 North. I think it was about 10:45am, and I was in the fast lane. Traffic came to a sudden stop and I thought I saw something flip over on the southbound side, like a car maybe. Traffic was crawling, and I pulled into the median and drove forward to get a better idea of what was happening. Another driver had gotten out of his car and climbed over the center divider, and from the look on his face, the accident was bad. So I parked my car and grabbed my first aid kit from the trunk."

She paused a moment, visualizing the scene from hours before. Steve placed his free hand over hers and she continued. "The first thing I saw was the two flatbed trailers; one was empty and the other was loaded with concrete piping, and it was tilted, kinda leaning against the empty trailer, forcing it close to the ground. One end of the empty trailer was up against the center divider and it stuck out across three lanes. The cab of the truck was still attached to the loaded trailer and it was shattered."

Joe and the captain were both taking notes as she spoke, impressed with the detail she provided.

"There were seven vehicles involved, but only one hit the truck, and that was against the empty trailer in the third land from the left. I climbed over the divider onto the empty trailer and ran to the car that had hit it. The driver's side passenger door was impaled on the corner of the trailer and there was glass everywhere. The driver had a minor laceration to his forehead but appeared uninjured otherwise. I told him to stay put till emergency crews arrived and went to the next closest vehicle."

Steve kept his face impassive but if they looked in his eyes, they would see how proud he was of her.

"They had been rear ended but had no life threatening injuries; the driver had a broken finger that I splinted, and the driver that hit them was pinned by his seatbelt. There was a cutting tool in my first aid kit so I cut him free and made sure he was okay before moving on. I was amazed that no one was seriously injured, given how horrific everything looked. Then I heard someone shouting for help over by the cab of the truck. I ran over and that's when I saw the CHP motorcycle and knew an officer had been involved." Lindsey glanced at Steve and he nodded slightly. "I ahh... I ran over to the bike and keyed the mic and put in an 11-99 call."

"You did an admirable job, Lindsey," Sgt. Getraer said kindly. "You obviously have the benefit of knowing an officer and therefore, some codes. Regardless, you handled yourself well."

Lindsey smiled, "Thank you sir. I'm not even sure what I said, other than I was a nurse at an accident scene and there was an 11-99, motor officer down..."

" _Attention any CHP units near the 405 South and National on ramp. This is Nurse Lindsey Buchanan on scene at a multi-vehicle accident on the 405 Southbound just North of the National on ramp. 11-99. Motor officer down!"_ Oh God... Please don't be Steve… _"We need several ambulances and possible life flight to this location."_

_"Nurse Buchanan, this is Officer Bonnie Clark. I will be there in two minutes. LA 15 7 Charles, continuing to accident scene from Northbound 405 at Washington."_

" _LA this is 7 Mary 3, approaching scene with Mary 4 from 405 South just past the 10. Advise rescue units to take National on ramp on the Southbound side and approach scene from behind. There's no way rescue units will get through this mess. ETA 2 minutes."_

" _10-4 Mary 3. Attention all units..."_

"After I called it in I ran over to where several people were attending to the driver. He'd been thrown from the cab and how he wasn't killed I'll never know. I tried to render assistance but they said the officer needed medical attention immediately and they had the driver handled, so I went to the cab. I'm still not sure how the officer ended up between the shattered windshield and the remains of the passenger door. As I was checking his vitals, I heard a squad car pull up behind me. Officer Anderson introduced himself and asked how he could help and I told him we needed to figure out how badly Officer Grossman was hurt before trying to move him. Then Officer Baker came over."

"Before you continue," the Lieutenant interrupted, "it might make it easier on you if you just use last names. We know who was on scene."

"Thank you sir. So Offi... I mean Baker and I climbed into the cab and Anderson was at Grossman's feet waiting for me to tell him what to do. We had to be careful of Grossie's left leg because I could tell it was broken. Grossman started to come around and Jon kept him calm while I assessed his injuries. I heard other officers arrive but they kept back and let us work. There were some large pieces of jagged glass and metal from the door that had been torn off that were pressing against his chest and I was trying to determine how to get him out from under them when Anderson started pulling from the other side..."

_"Look you guys. We can just slide him out like this!"_

_"Craig don't. He's not stabilized yet and his leg is broken—don't pull him, Craig! Damn it Stop-"_

_"Stop! You're going to – Oh my God stop you're going to kill him!"_

_"Hey, Anderson! Damn it stop_ _**now** _ _!"_

Lindsey was crying now and they waited for her to compose herself. "I know he, he was only trying... to help," she said between ragged breaths, "but to just move someone without knowing the full extent of their injuries... and he pulled on his broken leg! I told him we couldn't move it until we got it splinted. Hell, Grossie could have had a broken neck or back. But Anderson couldn't see the metal pinning Grossie down. He just wouldn't stop. Steve actually had to tackle him! The, the metal punctured... I'm sorry. I just..."

Steve pulled her to him and she cried harder. "It's okay Linds."

"No, Steve, it's not okay! I'm a nurse! I see this kind of thing... all the time!"

"But never from the battlefield, Buck. Take your time, it's all right."

Captain Anderson felt sick.  _So the reports are true after all. Not that Baker of all people would ever lie about something like this, but... Damn it! What the hell was Craig thinking? He knows procedure! This was not a judgment call for him to make!_  He looked over at Michelson, knowing the conversation they would soon have, and he knew he couldn't protect Craig this time.

"Are you ready to continue Ms. Buchanan?" Michelson asked.

"Yes, sir. Thank you. When Officer Anderson pulled Grossman, the metal pierced him between the 4th and 5th ribs. He had comparatively minor injuries until that point; Steve stopped him just in time or the damage could have been so much worse. I'm not sure when the EMTs arrived, but they quickly took over for myself and Officer Baker. That's when Ponch called out that he found another bike, and it looked like the second officer was underneath the empty flatbed."

"Jon said he'd stay with Grossie so I ran over to them and saw Baricza and Ponch trying to get under the trailer. The trailers were wedged against each other and the loaded trailer had forced the empty one lower to the ground. There was just enough space for a smaller person to get under the trailer, and my being five foot two made me the only option. I mean, there was no way Bear or Ponch were gonna fit. They tried to stop me, but I asked them if they had their nursing degrees and felt comfortable making a life or death call, and they relented."

"She never did play fair," Steve said with a smile.

"I crawled under the trailer and saw the officer up against the center divider. He was on his right side, pinned under one of the tires which was in shreds. I don't know if that caused the accident or if it happened afterward, but at least two tires looked that way. I crawled over to the officer and told them it was Bruce Nelson. He was conscious, and scared. He was wedged between the rim and the concrete divider and he was having trouble breathing. Someone passed a radio in to me so we could stay connected, and Steve was on the other end. I asked him if they had anything to lift the trailer just an inch or two so Bruce could roll free. The officers decided with enough manpower they could lift that corner on their own. I guess they got civilians to help because there must have been 15 or 20 people out there."

_"I can't... breathe... Please help... me... Lindsey…"_

_"I'm here Bruce, it's going to be alright. We're going to get you out, I promise. Steve, are we ready?"_

_"As ready as we'll ever be Linds! Just tell us when to lift and when to release."_

_"Okay! Bruce, look at me, okay hon? Look at me! I'm going to need you to help me, but it's going to hurt. You're going to need to roll towards me when I tell you to."_

_"No, please... no more... it hurts."_

_"Lindsey?"_

_"Hold on Steve! Bruce, it's the only way! Hold my hand... good. Now look at me. We can do this. Steve, Bonnie, Ponch and Bear and a whole bunch of other people are trying to save you. You're not alone. We can do this. Are you ready? Okay Steve, on your count."_

_"Alright people, on three! One... two... Three!"_

"I'm still not sure how they managed it, but they lifted the corner just enough for Bruce to roll clear. I was trying to decide how to move him toward the side where they could reach him when I realized I smelled gasoline. And then I heard Bear and Ponch shouting at someone to stop whatever it was they were doing. The next thing I hear is Steve on the radio telling me to move fast...

_"Don't touch that Craig! You'll drop the whole load!"_

_"I'm just tightening it down Bear. I know what I'm doing."_

_"Anderson, get away from there! Let the driver take care of it!"_

_"No not that way- Oh my God!"_

_"Lindsey, move now! Lindsey, Bruce!"_

She was trembling as she plowed through the rest of the story. She wasn't going to stop because if she did, she would never finish. "I didn't know what was happening, but I had to do something. We were lying face to face, so I grabbed the back of Bruce's utility belt and we rolled toward the center of the trailer just as something very large hit the trailer hard. I think we rolled twice before there was no more space to move. Bruce was unconscious by this point, and then I heard the distinct whoosh of a fire. It was so hard not to panic... there was smoke and I couldn't see where anyone was..." Lindsey covered her face with her hands, willing her emotions to stay in check.  _Just five more minutes, please!_

Steve looked at his superiors, "Do we have to do this now? Can't we take a break and let her compose herself?"

"No, Steve. I have to finish this now. I'm okay... it's just difficult." She took a deep breath before going on. "We must have rolled sideways because we were very close to the side and I saw lots of feet. I couldn't find the radio to tell them where we were and there was too much noise for my shouts to be heard, so I removed Bruce's gun and started pounding on the trailer until someone heard me. Baricza dropped to his knees and saw us and called the medics over, but the edge of the trailer was now too close to the ground and we couldn't get out. The fire was getting closer I think because it started to get warm under there, and I know people were panicking as Bear kept talking to me. I guess they were looking for something to cut away part of the trailer and I told Barry to have the medics slide a backboard with ropes attached to it in to us so I could get Bruce on it and they could get him out more easily."

The three officers had looks of amazement and shock on their faces, and Steve had to smile. He was very proud of how she handled the accident today, and could tell that his superiors were impressed as well. He knew it wasn't easy to think clearly under that kind of stress, and his friend was showing them what made her a great ER nurse, and a good friend too. She had stopped to take a drink of water and he smiled at her encouragingly,

"You're almost done."

"I know. Okay, home stretch, right? Umm, oh yeah, the backboard. Bruce came to and was able to help me maneuver the board under him, which was no easy task in that tight of a space. Some firemen had shown up and somehow created a space for us to get through. They had just started pulling the backboard out when the explosion hit."

_"C'mon Bruce, we're almost out. That's it..."_ God it's hot. Please Lord, don't let the fire get here _... "Okay, he's on. Pull!"_

_"Get down, it's gonna blow!"_

_"Ahhh! Bruce, where are you? Oh my God. Barry, Steve help me!"_

_"Lindsey come on, we're right here! A little further... I've got her. Run Steve, I've got her!"_

The stress and long hours were rapidly catching up to her, and Lindsey struggled for control. The adrenaline rush was gone, and she was falling apart. "I just remember a lot of heat and smoke, and Bruce disappearing from my side. I crawled forward and Barry grabbed my hands and pulled me out, picked me up and ran behind some cars. That's when the second explosion hit." She was shaking now, her breathing fast and she couldn't calm herself. "I was so scared. I didn't think I was going to make it..."

Sgt. Getraer reached forward and turned off the recorder. "That's plenty for now Ms. Buchanan. I want to personally thank you for your heroics today, and thank you for saving two of my officers and friends."

Lindsey barely heard him as she dissolved in Steve's embrace. The three officers stood and headed for the door, leaving the friends alone to comfort each other.

 


	2. Character

**CHARACTER**

_The qualities of moral strength, vigor and stability_

Craig left Central with no real idea of where he was going, only that he had to get  _away_. As he drove, he thought back to the accident scene, wondering why he did what he did.  _It was so simple to just pull Grossie out. Why didn't they tell me there was stuff in the way? Or those damn pipes? Why did the restraint loosen when I pulled it tight? I didn't want to hurt them! I was only trying to help!_

_**You just did what you wanted, just like you always do, Craig. You and your privileged background, your Big Shot Daddy to cover for your mistakes...** _

_Shut up! I'm a good cop._

_**Good Cop!? Ha! That's a laugh. You're mediocre at best! You barely passed your re-qualification at the range, you've been written up for incomplete reports in the past... And what about all the friends you have? Oh wait, nobody likes you because-** _

"Stop it, just stop! Leave me alone."

He was shaking and realized he'd driven to the beach and had parked in the lot.  _How the hell did I get here?_  Craig got out of the car and wiped the sweat from his face, the cool breeze revitalizing him. The wind buffeted around him as he walked down to the water and watched the waves as they caressed the beach. What was it that Steve had said to his dad earlier? Something about benefiting from his badge?  _Does my dad really cover for me that much?_

 _**You** _ _**know he does, Craig! Remember when Young got a two week suspension for roughing up that suspect last year? Then four months later you hit a guy, with witnesses around, and you just took your normal day off and were back at work your next scheduled day. I'll bet there isn't even a mention of it in your jacket!** _

_But the guy took a swing at me first..._

_**Craig... you waited till you'd cuffed him before popping him one. And you'd have hit him again if Baker hadn't grabbed you.** _

"Baker... now there's a good cop. He sure turned Poncherello into a pretty good cop, too."

Craig picked up some small pieces of driftwood and tossed them into the ocean. "Then there's McLeish, Mr. High and Mighty. Who the hell does he think he is anyway? I oughta press assault charges for the way he tackled me today!" He rubbed his shoulder and let his anger burn. "He's an obnoxious bastard, that's what he is! Just what did he say to my dad about me anyways? I'm gonna make him pay!"

He suddenly had a vision of what he would do to McLeish, and the violence of it surprised him.

_**You know you want to do it Craig. Make him pay for what he did.** _

_No, not like that..._

**_You afraid of causing a little pain Anderson? Huh? Give back five times worse than it was given._ _That's_ _how you deal with McLeish and Baker!_ **

A new vision sprang before his eyes and he dropped to his knees, shaking.  _Stop it! I'm not like that! Jon didn't do anything... They don't deserve that kind of torture!_

 _**Don't they Craig? Don't they all? They made a** _ _fool_ _**out of you today! You were doing your job and now they're blaming you for the injuries to Bruce and Grossie. Is that fair? Is it?** _

_But I messed up. They were innocent mistakes!_

_**Innocent? Are you kidding? We did that on purpose Craig. On purpose!** _

"No, oh God no... make it stop! Leave me alone!"

The frightened officer clutched his head in his hands as he tried to stop the horribly violent images flashing through his mind. He couldn't fight it and let the fury wash over him, consuming him. And then, the planning began. The CHP would pay for making a fool out of Officer Craig Anderson.

-oOo-

Steve and Lindsey stayed in the conference room for about twenty minutes before heading back into the waiting room. When they came in, Bear walked over and said, "Grossie and Bruce are both out of surgery and in recovery. The doctor said your quick thinking saved their lives, Linds."

She smiled and was about to respond when she felt her pager go off. She looked at it then bolted for the door.

"Lindsey, what's wrong?" Steve called after her.

"I'll be right back," she called out before entering the hallway. The officers in the waiting room looked around nervously.

"That can't be good," Bonnie said. "She went white when she read the page. I hope the guys are okay..."

Lindsey dashed into the recovery room just as Dr. Fox called out, "Clear!" She watched Bruce's body convulse with the electric shock, tears in her eyes. The doctor turned to the head nurse. "Status, Kim?"

"No response Doctor."

"What the hell happened?" Lindsey cried as she went to Bruce's side.

"Nurse Buchanan," Dr. Fox said tersely, "I'd appreciate it if you left the room now. I have a life to save."

She stood her ground. "So do I Dean. I was paged here and I'm not leaving." She moved to the top of the bed and stood above Bruce's head, then bent down to speak softly in his ear. "Bruce? Come on Bruce, don't do this. You've got to hang on."

Dr. Fox ordered the defibrillator set to 300 joules. "Ready, Doctor."

"Everyone clear! I don't want to do this again."

Lindsey and the others stepped back as Dr. Fox sent the life-saving voltage through Bruce's body, and she held her breath as the monitor continued to show a flat line. After three of the longest seconds of her life, Lindsey saw the monitor move up and down, then again, and more quickly as his heart started beating once more. She gently brushed his hair from his forehead and whispered, "Keep fighting Bruce, keep fighting."

"Good job, people. Now let's make sure we didn't do any damage to that lung."

Once Dr. Fox felt Bruce was stable, he asked Lindsey to accompany him to the waiting room to speak to the officers. As they were walking down the hall, he stopped her. "You know him pretty well, don't you?"

She gave him a small smile. "Yes, Dean, I know both officers."

The haunted look in her brown eyes stabbed at his heart. "It must have been really difficult out there for you Linds. Are you doing okay?"

"As well as can be expected for being up for," she counted on her fingers, "almost twenty-four hours." She chuckled at his shocked expression. "You know I worked 10pm to 10am right? Well, I got up yesterday at 1pm, ran my errands and such, and came to work. It was a slow night like I'd hoped it would be and then I was going home to bed. But then this happened." Fatigue and stress were evident in her voice and Dean gave her a quick hug.

"Let's go tell them their buddy's gonna be okay."

She nodded gratefully and followed him into the waiting room. Everyone stood and looked apprehensively at them, and Lindsey let Dr. Fox step forward and explain what had happened to Bruce. As he spoke, she thought back to being under the trailer, and if there was anything she could have done to prevent any of his injuries.  _The only thing that would have prevented them was if Officer Anderson had been locked in his squad car,_  she thought bitterly.  _Now I understand why Steve and the others were complaining about him last week at Bonnie's party!_  She sighed, rubbed her hand over her face and tried to focus on what Dean was telling the others.

"So, the next 24 hours are critical for both officers, but I firmly believe they will both make a full recovery, thanks in part to the quick thinking of Nurse Buchanan here."

Steve started applauding and the others followed suit, making her blush.

"Stop, I didn't do it alone. So many of you helped! Jon, you worked on Grossie and didn't question anything I said, and ... and Barry, you and Ponch organized the group to lift the trailer... I just did what needed to be done, nothing more."

"Well, then there should be more people like you in the world," Jon said with a smile.

Dean looked at the group, "I have a few more patients to see before I head back up to ICU. I'll be back a bit later. And Lindsey, don't sell yourself short. You did an amazing job out there today." He patted her on the shoulder as he walked out.

The tension level in the room dropped considerably and the officers started to chat amongst themselves, clearly relieved at the prognosis for their friends. Jon glanced over at Lindsey and noticed she looked rather pale. He started to walk towards her and called her name. "Lindsey?"

Exhaustion and fear were tearing at her composure, and her will finally crumbled. The noise in the room became a loud buzz and things started to spin. She thought she heard someone call her name but couldn't respond because she was falling into darkness.

"Lindsey!"

Several officers turned at the cry as Jon ran and caught her before she hit the floor. Ponch was beside him a moment later, as was Steve.

"What happened? Is she okay?"

"Buck? Jon what happened?"

Bear quickly opened the door and called out, "Dr. Fox, we need you!"

Dr. Fox came running back in followed by Karen. "What hap-" He saw the blonde officer holding Lindsey and his heart sank. "Oh, Lindsey," he said sadly. "Bring her in here Officer, quickly."

Jon carried her into the exam room and laid her on the gurney. Steve held her hand as the Dr. quickly examined her.

"She's been up for almost twenty-four hours. Combine that with the stress of being on scene at the accident, and knowing people involved... She just needs to rest." He turned to the nurse, "Karen, see if there isn't' a room available to put her in for a few hours. I want to keep an eye on her before sending her home."

"Yes sir, Dr. Fox."

Jon looked at Steve, "I'll go tell the others she's gonna be fine, that she just needs rest. Hey," he put a hand on his shoulder, "You gonna be okay Steve?"

"Yeah, Jon. Thanks. I'll be better once she wakes up and I can take her home..."

Jon nodded in understanding and left the room.

-oOo-

Lieutenant Michelson, Sgt. Getraer and Capt. Anderson sat in Joe's office discussing the day's events. They had Lindsey's statement transcribed and were comparing all the statements given that day to try and build a profile of the accident. After three hours Joe put his head in his hands. "I just don't understand it Will. Why did Craig do these things? It's not like he's a cadet who didn't know better..."

Will Anderson looked at his long time friend. "Joe, if I had an answer for you, I would tell you."

"I don't buy it, Captain," said Michelson sternly. "We've received more than one complaint about Officer Anderson in the past four months, not the least of which has been special treatment by a superior officer. You wouldn't happen to know anything about this, would you captain?"

Will stood and started to pace Joe's office. "I do, sir."

"You're not the only guilty party here Will, so don't try and take this all on yourself." Getraer looked at the shocked face of Rick Michelson. "Yes, sir. We both are guilty of covering for minor infractions by Officer Anderson. I personally have done this sort of thing for many officers in the past; they've had an off day, it was a first offense…"

Rick studied the two men and sighed heavily. "I understand giving officers a chance, but it's more than that. We've been keeping an eye on his jacket and there have been serious discrepancies with things we know should have been in his reports that aren't there. Yet they show up in other officers' reports." He picked up a form with the header 'Suspension and Separation' and looked at the captain. "Will, I don't want to have to do this. Help me out here."

Anderson looked at his friends, knowing it was now or never. "I always swore that Craig would not receive any special treatment because of my position, but as McLeish so eloquently put it this afternoon, I have failed the department and my son. No Joe, don't stop me. I let myself see him as a father sees a son and not as a captain to his officer. I have let him slide, I haven't disciplined him as I have others, and now... now this."

He stood up and started to pace the office, wringing his hands nervously. "I thought I was helping him through a rough time. He's been having trouble sleeping and his work was suffering, so I would cover for him. I guess I didn't cover my tracks very well because people started noticing. Then Craig recently started getting moody and irrational. Something is going on with him and he won't confide in me, but he begs me to help him out…"

"As I said before Will, you're not the only one who has covered for your son." Getraer looked from Will to Rick with great sadness. "I think Craig has been playing us, lieutenant, and now there is no safety net for him to fall back onto. He can apparently be very cunning when it suits his needs, because he has a history of making less than wise choices in the past. Need I mention the incident with that suspect seven months ago?"

The captain hung his head and the lieutenant shook his head. "I was hoping that wasn't what I thought it was, gentleman. Do you know how many complaints we received for that from the officers here? Seven anonymous and two identified officers.  **Nine reports** , gentlemen.  **Nine.**  And now this. And he's not a bad cop, just not always the clearest thinking. Will, I have no choice but to suspend him with pay pending further investigation."

"I understand, sir."

"And, I also have to do the same to you captain, as much as it kills me to do it."

The sergeant stood up in shock. "Rick, you can't be serious!"

"Do you want to join their little party Joe?"

He stared defiantly at his superior, then slowly backed down. "No sir."

"Its fine, Joe. I knew this would happen sooner or later. By rights I should turn in my badge for this. Abuse of power is a very serious charge."

Michelson shook his head. "No one has said anything about abuse of power Will. I'm currently working under the assumption that you were manipulated by your son until I can prove otherwise, if at all. Craig has a lot of things to answer for, and not all of them involve either of you. Your suspension is more precautionary at this point. I'll file my report with Sacramento and make their decisions a priority. I want to get to the bottom of this as soon as possible. Now, I for one have had a very long day and I suggest we all head home for a good night's rest. We're going to need it."

-oOo-

Steve took Lindsey home after Dr. Fox had released her with the promise that she would not come back until eight am the next morning at the earliest. She was subdued on the drive home and Steve let her be. Once back at her condo, she showered while Steve made something for them to eat. Forty five minutes later, she was picking at her meal, then pushed it away.

"I appreciate you making dinner Mickey, but I'm just not hungry. I'm going to go to bed, okay? You can let yourself out."

"Hey, Buck... Lindsey, wait." He followed her and stopped at her bedroom door. She had crawled into bed and was curled up in a ball, holding onto her cat Scooter. He tried again, "Linds, what's wrong? Can I come in and talk to you about it?"

The black cat meowed plaintively and Steve saw her whole body shake as she sobbed into her pillow. Her bravery from hours before had retreated into a corner, and now fear and stress replaced it with force. Scooter cried again, trying to pull away from the tight grip his mistress had on him, and Steve came to his rescue. He walked over to the bed and gently coaxed her arm from around the cat, releasing a grateful Scooter from her grip and taking her hand in his.

"Buck, come on, talk to me. Please?" He hated feeling this helpless and stroked her hair from her face.

"I'm scared, Steve. They both could have died out there because of Craig, and if I hadn't been there... I'm so worried about Bruce! What happens if..."

He took her in his arms and held her as she cried some more. "Lindsey, it's okay. Shhh, it's going to be fine."

She poured out her fears to her best friend, and he tried to help her cope. She had never had to handle a victim on scene, and knowing the officers involved only made matters worse. She and Dean had both said as much earlier in the day, but Steve hadn't realized just how traumatic it had been for her, especially given she had been up for twenty-four hours on top of everything else. They talked until she started to fall asleep in his arms, and Steve gently lay her down. Scooter jumped on the bed and promptly curled up next to his mistress, purring contentedly.

"You crazy cat," Steve said as he rubbed him behind the ears. "You take good care of her and make sure she sleeps in, okay?"

The black cat blinked his green eyes at the human and meowed once, then put his head down on top of Lindsey's hand and sighed.

"I'll be in the guest room if either of you need me," he said with a smile as he quietly closed her door.

-oOo-

By eight thirty Wednesday morning, Lindsey and Steve were back at the hospital. They were greeted by Jon, Ponch, Sindy and Bonnie, all of whom looked more than a little disturbed.

"Apparently we don't rate," said Ponch angrily, "Because we're only  _officers_  and not somebody important like a sergeant or captain."

"What do you mean, Ponch? Won't they let you in?" Lindsey eyes became dark with anger.

Jon shook his head. "No, and they won't tell us their condition either. Sarge is on his way down now, so we should be able to get some answers soon."

"You'll get your answers  **now** ," Lindsey said as she stormed into the ward.

Ponch stared at the swinging doors, "Was that the same lady we saw yesterday? Remind me not to make her mad!"

Steve laughed, "That right there my friends, was Buck: stubborn and focused, and willing to do whatever it takes to get any job done."

Bonnie smiled, "I think she's needed to be stubborn to put up with you for all these years."

"Ouch, Bon-Bon! Right to the heart with that one. I just may have to report you for officer abuse."

Sergeant Getraer walked in. "What is the problem here, people? I'm up to my eyeballs in reports, I have a meeting with Lt. Michelson as soon as I get back, and oh yeah, the Commissioner wants a piece of my time as well."

"The hospital won't release any info on Bruce or Grossie unless it's to one of our superiors, Sarge," Sindy said with a tinge of aggravation.

"Yeah, 'Dr. Welby' in there said-" Ponch stopped as he heard Lindsey's voice carry into the room.

"...anything that they need to know, you can tell the officers!"

"Nurse Buchanan, I will not be told by you or anyone else how to deal with the friends and loved ones of my patients. If I say that only a commanding officer will receive reports to disseminate amongst his subordinates, then that is exactly how things will be done!"

The doctor and Lindsey had moved closer to the door, and they could be plainly heard at this point.

"Do you have any idea what happened out there on that freeway yesterday Dr. Phillips? There was a seven car accident that also involved a two-trailer flatbed truck that eventually caught fire and exploded. The two CHP officers in ICU right now are only here due to an over-zealous colleague who tried to help and ended up making matters ten times worse. And the officers on the other side of this door had to try and save their friends from certain death. Oh yeah, and did I mention that I was out there with them? I was on the front lines yesterday while you and your cronies were out sipping martinis on the back nine!"

The shock on the older man's face fueled her anger all the more. "While you were aiming for a perfect game, I was saving lives. I was under a trailer risking my life to save Officer Nelson. Those men and women out there are more than a little concerned for their friends and I would think that for once in your illustrious career you would think about how others feel instead of feeding your precious freaking ego! You, sir, had  **nothing** to do with saving these men's lives other than taking over for Dr. Fox at around midnight. So if you don't mind, please get off your high horse and give the CHP the respect it deserves and let them know how their friends are doing."

There was stunned silence on both sides of the doors: The officers were amazed at what they had heard, and quite proud of her as well. Steve had certainly been on the receiving end of her tirades before, but this one made anything he'd experienced look tame in comparison. Dr. Phillips looked down at the petite nurse, his normally brown eyes nearly black with anger.

"In my thirty-five years in practice, I don't think anyone has ever had the gall to speak to me in that way. You have crossed the line, Nurse Buchanan, and you can rest assured that the Chief will hear about this."

"Then I'm glad to have been the first, Dr. Phillips. You are a pompous man with incredible skill at saving lives. However, your bedside manner leaves a lot to be desired and I, sir, will be filing my grievance with the Chief as well. Now if you'll excuse me, I have two patients to look in on."

A few moments later, Dr. Phillips walked into the waiting room with an air of regal authority, his white coat fitting his lean form loosely. His face was still flush with anger, but he had regained his composure as he looked over the officers before him. Joe had moved to stand behind Jon, so the only new arrival the doctor noticed was Steve, who was wearing slacks and a dress shirt.

"Are you the commanding officer?"

Steve looked startled. "Me? No sir. I'm Officer Steve McLeish. How are Nelson and Grossman?"

Dr. Phillips looked uncomfortable as he pondered the question, making the officers nervous. "I really would like to speak to a commanding officer first..."

"I've put in a call to Central and they said they were sending someone over ASAP," Bonnie said seriously. "But we have to get out to our beats, and we'd really appreciate an update on our friends."

Joe had to stifle his laughter at the doctor's discomfort. He was about to step around Jon when Dr. Phillips spoke.

"They both had an uneventful night, but they are still critical. I suppose, I suppose if you want to go in, two at a time… but please only stay five minutes with each officer. I will speak to your commanding officer when he, or she, arrives."

 _Way to go Buck!_  Steve mentally cheered.

At that moment, Lindsey walked out of the ward and looked at the group, then to Dr. Phillips. She started to speak but was cut off by the doctor.

"Nurse Buchanan. I understand you are off duty, but these officers would like to see their colleagues. I have consented to let them in two at a time and may have five minutes with each officer. Will you please take the first two in to see Officer Grossman?"

Lindsey covered her shock immediately and nodded, smiling. "Of course, Dr. Phillips. It would be my pleasure. Who's first?"

Jon and Ponch stepped forward and she opened the door for them. "Right this way, gentlemen."


	3. Courtesy

**COURTESY**   
_Respect for law and order and for the individual_

After seeing his officers, Joe went back to Central to meet with Craig and the lieutenant. He was not looking forward to this meeting, but it had to be done. When he got to his office Craig was waiting patiently for him, sitting in one of the chairs.

"Sergeant."

"Anderson." He nodded to Craig as he walked around to his desk and grabbed a few files from the desk. He looked at the placid face before him and asked, "How are you doing?"

Craig looked at him curiously. "I'm fine, Sarge, why? Shouldn't I be?"

"I was just concerned after what happened yesterday…"

Craig laughed, "Oh that! It was an honest mistake that anyone could have made Sarge. After our meeting I'm going to go to the hospital to see the guys and apologize. I was truly only trying to help."

There was a casualness in Craig's tone and demeanor didn't sit well with Joe, but he said nothing.  _Just keep watching and see what happens_ , he told himself. "Well, if you're ready, I think we should head over to the lieutenant's office."

"After you sir," he said with a smile.

 _Something is seriously not right with this…what game is he playing?_ By the time they got to Michelson's office, Joe was more than a little concerned about Craig's attitude regarding the situation.

"Have a seat, gentlemen." Lt. Michelson observed his two officers as they sat; he noticed a distinct lack of stress from Officer Anderson while picking up a rather concerned vibe from the sergeant.  _And so it begins…_  "Craig, for the record, you understand what this meeting is about, correct?"

"Yes, sir," he said amicably. "We are meeting to discuss what happened at the accident scene on the 405 yesterday, and why I did what I did."

Rick Michelson looked at the younger officer sternly. "And you understand that there may very well be unpleasant consequences in regards to your actions?"

"Uhh, yes…well, no sir, I hadn't considered that."

Michelson looked at Joe who shook his head, looking concerned. "You 'hadn't considered it', Anderson?"

"No sir. It's not like I did it on purpose, right?"

Joe sighed heavily, "Craig, do you honest to God expect nothing to happen to you because of this? No disciplinary action at all?"

The younger man looked at him with a smile, "Well, I guess it's gotta go in my jacket."

"You can't be serious," Lt. Michelson said incredulously. "Anderson, you disobeyed orders and threatened the lives of two officers and a civilian nurse. How can you not expect anything to happen?"

He shrugged, "I didn't get in trouble for popping that scumbag a while back…"

Joe hung his head in shame.  _He completely and totally took advantage of me and his father. Damn him!_  When he looked up, his blue eyes were like ice.

"You… you think this is some kind of game Anderson? Playing with peoples lives?"

"Oh come off it Sarge! Nobody told me that Grossman was pinned! It looked like an easy thing just to slide him out-"

"You were told by Nurse Buchanan to wait for her signal, an order which you completely ignored!" Thundered Getraer. "McLeish had to tackle you to make you stop. And look at you, not even showing the slightest bit of remorse. What is wrong with you Anderson?"

"That's enough, sergeant!" Lt. Michelson gave him a warning look and Getraer backed down. He ran his hand over his face and looked at the younger officer. "Craig, based on the statements given by several of the witnesses on scene as well as that of Nurse Buchanan and several officers, we have no choice but to suspend you with pay pending further investigation of this incident."

Both men would later swear another person was sitting in that room with them, because it was not the Craig Anderson they knew that responded to that statement. His face went black with anger, his eyes burning with hatred. He shouted a few choice phrases and then stood up and got right in Lt. Michelson's face.

"You think you can stop me, cop? Do ya? Well, you don't know who you're dealing with!"

Sergeant Getrear was now standing beside Craig with a hand firmly on his shoulder.

"Let's not add insubordination to the list of offenses, Anderson."

"List of offenses?" He turned toward Getraer. "So you people have been keeping tabs on me? What am I, some wet-behind-the-ears cadet who needs babysitting? When my father hears about this, heads are going to roll!"

"For your information,  _Officer Anderson_ ," Getraer said in a voice cold as steel, "Your father has taken a suspension as well because he has admitted to letting you off the hook for past mistakes." He was now in Craig's face and did not back down. "You have consistently shown serious lack of good judgment and based on your attitude today, a serious lack of character as well." He jabbed his finger on Craig's badge, "Do the points on that badge even mean anything to you? Integrity, Judgment, Loyalty, Courtesy, Honor, Knowledge and Character. One trait for each point on that star on your chest. Or did you forget that from your first week of basic, Officer Anderson?"

The lieutenant watched the exchange, ready to jump in between the officers if necessary. Craig was actually shaking with anger, and Getraer was seething. The two men stared each other down, and Lt. Michelson saw Craig make a fist.

"That's enough gentlemen! Craig, Joe, please sit back down." He started to walk around his desk when it happened. The sergeant glanced at his superior and at that same moment, Craig swung his fist, punching Getraer in the stomach. He then ripped his badge off his uniform and threw it at Rick, shouting, "I don't need this shit! You're all going to pay for this, I swear it!"

Before they could stop him, he ran out of the office and down the hall, Michelson hot on his heels.

"Somebody stop him," the lieutenant cried. Just as Craig passed the briefing room, he spun around, service revolver in hand. Michelson screamed, "Everyone  **down**!" Every officer within earshot hit the floor.

Craig stood there smugly for a beat, then dashed out the door laughing wildly. Several officers went after him, but he fired a single shot as they emerged from the building, causing them all to hit the deck.

"You tell McLeish and Baker they're on my hit list along with the rest of those morons who made me look stupid yesterday. They're going to pay for this. They're all going to pay I swear it!" He jumped in his car and sped away.

Jon and Ponch were just returning for the morning briefing when Craig charged them. They easily avoided a collision and continued toward the building when they saw the lieutenant wave frantically at them to follow him. Sindy and Bonnie were already in their cars, lights and sirens blaring.

Jon grabbed his radio mic, "Bonnie what the hell is going on? Why are we chasing Anderson?"

"He shot at us Jon!"

The partners looked at each other and gunned their motors, racing after their fellow officer.

-oOo-

Since he had driven her car home the night before, Steve had Lindsey drop him off at the station after things settled down at the hospital.

"I still can't get over how you handled that doctor, Linds. You were amazing!"

She grinned slyly, "What would Toro and Ted say about me now?"

Steve laughed. "They would tremble in their boots if you ever spoke to them that way!"

Lindsey laughed with him and as they pulled up into the station parking lot, Steve grew serious. There was yellow caution tape around the back of the building, and several CSI's were checking vehicles or talking to officers.

"What the hell…?"

She pulled into a parking spot and got out of the car. Sgt. Getraer came running over to them. "McLeish, good, you're alright. We need to talk, now."

"What do you mean 'I'm alright'? What's going on Sarge?"

He looked at Lindsey, then back at Steve. "We'll discuss it inside."

Bonnie pulled up at that moment, followed by Ponch, Jon and Sindy. She got out of her squad car fuming. "I can't believe it. We lost him. He nearly hit 3 pedestrians and almost caused no less than 5 accidents! Plus the fact Ponch nearly came off his bike trying to avoid oncoming traffic."

"I still don't understand why Anderson shot at you guys, Sarge," Jon said as he removed his helmet. Steve and Lindsey looked aghast.

"Enough Baker! And thank you Clark. Everyone inside, now." The sergeant looked at Steve. "Yes, McLeish, Anderson shot at us. I'll explain it all inside. And Ms. Buchanan, I didn't want to involve you quite yet," he glared at Jon and Bonnie, "but I think you might want to sit in on this as well. God only knows what's going on in that man's head right now, and you might want to be prepared."

The briefing room was filled to capacity, so Lindsey stood next to the door behind Steve. Lt. Michelson called for quiet, then began to speak. "Ladies and gentlemen, as most of you know, we had a very serious incident about an hour ago involving…" he stopped abruptly as Captain Anderson entered the room; all eyes turned to him as he stood beside the lieutenant and sergeant.

Michelson turned his back to the room and spoke softly to the captain. "Will, given the circumstances, I'm not sure it's a good idea for you to be here. Meet me in my office-"

"My place is with the men and women of this department, lieutenant, unless you are relieving me of duty?" He spoke loud enough for the room to hear him, never taking his eyes off his superior. "I understand Officer Anderson was involved in whatever transpired earlier this morning, and I know there are more than a few here who might think I will try to bail him out or make excuses for him, especially given that I have been-"

"That's enough, Captain Anderson. You have more than made your point." Rick said loudly and smiled grimly at his friend, then turned to face the group once more. "As I was saying, there was a very serious incident about an hour ago involving Officer Craig Anderson. I know the rumor mill has already started cranking out stories, so let me quell any falsehoods right now. Officer Anderson was in a meeting with myself and Sgt. Getraer regarding what happened at the accident scene yesterday. We were discussing disciplinary action when he…"

He glanced at Joe, who barely shook his head.  _He's right. They don't need to know Craig hit him._  "…he became very agitated. He ran from my office and pulled his gun in the hallway. He did  _not_  fire his weapon inside. Once outside, he fired one shot then drove away in his own vehicle, not a squad car, and was followed by Baker, Poncherello, Clark and Cahill. I have not spoken to those officers, but it is apparent that he eluded capture."

Joe stepped forward and looked over the assembled officers, not wanting to relay the next piece of information. "Before running out of the room, Officer Anderson made a threat against the department in general. But before he drove away, he threatened two officers specifically."

The room became quieter than it had been moments before. All eyes were glued to the sergeant, waiting to hear who Craig had threatened. Joe glanced at the back of the room sadly. "Baker and McLeish were mentioned by name, but those of you who were assisting at the accident scene are at risk as well, so watch your backs. But understand that  _no one_  is safe out there right now. LAPD and the Sheriff's office have been alerted to the situation and we have an APB out for Craig Anderson. We've also posted guards at the hospital for Nelson and Grossman, just as a precaution."

As Getraer stepped back to let Michelson up to the podium once more, the captain moved forward to address the group. Lt. Michelson put a hand on his chest, "Will, no. Please."

"I have to Rick. Let me address my officers." The lieutenant relented and the captain spoke. "I know what has been said about me in regards to my son, and I apologize for my actions. Anything I say by way of explanation will sound like nothing more than a sorry excuse, so I will tell you this: the actions of Officer Craig Anderson will not be tolerated by myself or any other superior officer on this staff. I will use whatever resources I have to locate and apprehend Officer Anderson and bring him to justice. I have allowed him to make a fool of me in the eyes of my officers, and I will not allow this to continue. I do a damn fine job of making a fool of myself without anyone's help, least of all his."

A few officers chuckled softly and most smiled. Aside from how he dealt with Craig, the captain was well liked and respected, and could be counted on to clown around with the best of them. It was also a well known fact that he could drive his friend Sgt. Getraer to distraction, a talent he had honed to a fine art over their years working together. Some officers said that watching Anderson and Getraer interact was akin to watching Baker and Poncherello.

"So please give this old officer a break. I do take partial responsibility for what happened here today, but also know that Craig is his own man and must answer for his insubordination and misconduct." He took a deep breath and looked as if a huge weight had lifted from his shoulders. "Lieutenant, the floor is yours."

-oOo-

Lindsey drove back to the hospital in a daze, processing all the information she'd heard during the briefing.  _Craig is after Mickey and Jon… I don't believe it! How are they going to protect them? He could be out here, anywhere… if he attacks them while they're on duty…Oh Lord, please protect them from harm._

She pulled into Staff Parking and got out of her car. She heard footsteps behind her but thought nothing of it until the person touched her arm and said softly, "Nurse Buchanan?"

Lindsey turned around and tried to hide her shock as she looked up into the eyes of Officer Craig Anderson. "Oh! Goodness, Officer Anderson, you startled me!"

He looked exhausted and his eyes had the look of a man hunted. He held her arm gently, his voice soft. "I… I need to go see Grossie and Bruce… I need to apologize to them and," he looked away almost shyly, "and to you, Nurse Buchanan."

This was not the man she was warned about an hour ago, which made her very nervous. From the moment she saw him she had decided to play dumb about the incident today, thinking she would be safer around him, and she now prayed she was right.

"Oh… well, thank you Officer Anderson. I ah, I appreciate that a lot, and I know Bruce and Grossie would too. But I don't know if now is a good time to see them since they're both still sedated."

His eyes hardened for the briefest moment then became vulnerable once more. "Please Nurse Buchanan… please take me up there." His grip on her arm tightened slightly, "I really need to see them."

_Don't panic Lindsey… you've dealt with situations like this before…_

"Well, Officer Anderson…"

"Please, call me Craig." It was a statement, but there was insecurity behind it, making it sound almost like a question.

"Okay then, Craig, I don't know their current condition yet, seeing as I just arrived-"

"Why won't you let me see them? Why?" Craig grabbed her by both arms forcefully and shook her, his eyes suddenly dark and murderous. "Do you think I'm going to hurt them again? Do you?" His voice echoed in the cavernous parking structure, and Lindsey cried out in pain and fear.

"Craig, please. You're hurting me!"

"Hey, let her go, now!" Two first year residents approached the couple and Craig turned to face them, still holding Lindsey by one arm.

"What are the two of you gonna do, huh? I'm a cop, and this nice lady here needs to answer some questions for me."

"Kyle, Dan, its okay. I'm fine, really. Officer Anderson doesn't know his own strength sometimes." She smiled weakly, knowing neither doctor bought her lie. "Listen, since I'm gonna be late, will you please let Dr. Fox know, and tell him to code it silver. I don't want him to think I wasn't here at all."

Dr. Kyle Thorne caught her emergency code and nodded, quickly moving to the elevator. "You got it, Lindsey. C'mon Dan. Fox'll kill us if we're late."

Dr. Dan Vollgraf followed quickly, glancing behind him as they left. He looked at Kyle, "Did she say what I think she said? Code Silver?"

"That's what I understood her to say, Dan. That guy might be a cop, but he certainly isn't acting like one." They bypassed the elevators and ran down the stairs and into the main lobby to the front receptionist.

"Libby, we have a Code Silver in the Staff Parking Lot, level 3 section 2C. It's Nurse Lindsey Buchanan. She's being harassed by a guy in a CHP uniform, and he's armed."

The look in Kyle's eyes was more than enough to move her. She quickly made the call and then looked at the men before her, "Security is on their way, and the CHP will be notified as well. And they said you two were to stay down here with me until we get the all clear."

After the two doctors left, Craig got in Lindsey's face, nearly shouting. "McLeish thinks he's so smart, tackling me like he did yesterday! Do you realize he got me suspended Lindsey?  **Suspended.**  Him and Baker and Baricza… damn goodie-goods, always doing the right thing. Sarge thinks they're so special… I'm a good cop too damn it!"

Lindsey tried to remember all she'd learned in her training class in how to deal with an irrational individual. "I know you're a good cop, Craig. I'm sure you'll be back in a couple of days-"

He smacked her across the face. "Shut up! Just shut up! Now you listen and listen good. Tell McLeish, Baricza and the others that they'd better watch their backs, because I'm on to them, you hear me? They're all gonna pay for making me look bad out there yesterday. Oh, and make sure my dad knows that I mean business. Tell him… tell Captain Anderson his little boy is all grown up and is going to make an example of those losers." He shoved her to the floor then started to walk away, but turned and looked down at her. His eyes were no longer stormy but were sorrowful, his voice apologetic, "I didn't want to hurt you Lindsey. Please understand that."

He got into his car then drove off, leaving a stunned woman on the floor of the garage.

-oOo-

Half an hour later, Lindsey had just finished giving her statement to hospital security when Captain Anderson and Sergeant Getraer came into Dr. Fox's office, followed closely by Barry, Jeb and Steve.

"Buck, are you okay? What the hell happened?" He went and sat beside her on the couch and put his arm around her. She leaned into him for comfort and he looked over to the captain and sergeant, Turner and Baricza. "Threatening me or another cop is one thing, but when he starts going after civilians…"

"He didn't come after me, Mickey. He came to apologize…" The men looked at her like she'd lost her mind. "He did. I swear he did! He approached me very calmly and said he needed to see Bruce and Grossie so he could apologize to them and he wanted to apologize to me, too. He was calm, polite, almost nervous. He looked exhausted, like he'd been up all night."

"If he didn't threaten you Lindsey, why did you have the doctors call a Code Silver? You know that means a combative person with a weapon, right," Baricza asked her.

"I'm well versed in hospital emergency codes, Officer Baricza," she said coolly, "and I'm very aware of the code I gave to the interns. What I'm saying is that he didn't start out violent, but became so very quickly."

She stood up and walked over to the captain, "It's almost as if he's two different people, captain: One looking to help and be a good cop and the other hell-bent on hurting anyone who gets in his way. After he hit me he said to tell you that 'his little boy is all grown up and is going to make an example of those losers.' Then he shoved me to the ground and was calm. He said that he never intended to hurt me." She put her hand to her face, still burning from the slap. "I'm no shrink, but my professional opinion is that he needs psychiatric help before he hurts anyone."

Captain Anderson stared at the officers before him and sighed. "Gentlemen, I wish there was another way to deal with this, but my son has left me no choice. Joe, that APB needs to state Craig is armed and dangerous. I don't think Nurse Buchanan is in any real danger from him, but Baker and McLeish are for sure."

 


	4. Integrity

**INTEGRITY**   
_Moral defense against corrupting influence._

After the officers left, Lindsey went in to visit Grossman, who was sleeping when she arrived. Considering he had fallen from his motor and had been pinned under the cab of a truck, he looked remarkably well. There were scrapes on his face and arms, and there was a bandage on his chest where the metal had pierced him when Craig tried to pull him through the cab window. He also had a cast on his right arm and left leg. She sat with him for a while, running yesterday's events over in her mind, wishing she had done something different to save him this pain.

Just as she was about to leave, he opened his eyes. She pressed the nurse call button and then spoke softly to him. "Hey, Grossie." Artie looked at her, confusion in his eyes. She squeezed his hand, "How do you feel?"

"I … hurt. What… what happened?"

"You were involved in a multi-vehicle accident yesterday, Grossie. You were pinned under the cab of a truck. Do you remember any of it?"

His eyes got a far away look as he tried to remember yesterday…  _Lunch with Bruce…the truck swerving…_  He started breathing more rapidly as jumbled images ran through his mind.

Lindsey spoke soothingly, "Grossie, it's ok, you're alright. You're in the hospital and you're going to be okay. Artie, look at me."

"Bruce! Where's Bruce? He... the trailer…"

Dr. Phillips came in followed by Karen, and Lindsey held up her hand asking them to wait. "He's fine, Grossie, he's fine. He was under the empty trailer, but we got him out. You're both going to be fine."

The doctor came over then and took control of the situation. "Officer Grossman, I'm Dr. Phillips and this is Nurse Karen. We are going to check how you're doing, alright?"

He nodded slowly and squeezed Lindsey's hand, not letting go. She looked up at the doctor. "Dr. Phillips, may I stay while you examine him?"

There was no trace of animosity in her question which surprised him, given their heated exchange hours earlier. He looked at her briefly, then nodded his head and began his examination. "Lungs sound good. Patient is alert and responsive."

Dr. Phillips finished his exam and told Grossie he was recovering nicely and could expect to be in the hospital for three or four more days. He then took Lindsey aside for a moment.

"Ms. Buchanan, tell me again what happened to Officer Grossman yesterday?" She related the scene to him in detail and he shook his head in wonder. "I don't understand how they survived with relatively minor injuries, given the severity of the accident. There's no reasonable explanation for it."

"It was a miracle, Dr. Phillips, pure and simple. There were no fatalities. None. The drivers of the cars involved weren't injured as you would think, either. There will be whiplash and seat belt bruising of course, but there were no broken bones… well, one man ended up with a broken finger, but otherwise there were truly no serious injuries. That is until Officer Anderson showed up."

She kept her voice low as she told the doctor how she and Bruce were nearly trapped under the flatbed, then relayed some of the basic information about this morning's events at the station and her encounter with Craig only hours before. Dr. Phillips looked at the younger woman with new found respect. "Now I see what I'm up against with you, Ms. Buchanan." He smiled and winked at her. "I'm amazed that you never stood up to me before today."

"We don't work together often, Dr. Phillips, so it was easy to avoid confrontation." He raised an eyebrow at her and she chuckled. "I avoid confrontation whenever possible but today, well, these patients are special. Cops always need to know how their fellow officers are doing. I never keep basic information from them. Of course there are things that only family and superior officers can know, but if an officer comes in and wants to know Grossie's condition, I'll tell them he's stable and doing well, injuries are healing, etcetera. They risk their lives to protect us, the least we can do is tell them how their friends are."

Dr. Phillips nodded, "I tend to agree with you, Ms. Buchanan. I can't say I'll change my ways, but with regards to Officers Nelson and Grossman, I will make an effort to do so."

"That's all I ask for, Dr. Phillips."

They went back to Grossie's bedside to find him asleep. Dr. Phillips looked over at Lindsey, "I'm going to check on Officer Nelson now. Perhaps you would like to come and see him so you can tell his friends how he's faring as well?"

Lindsey gave him a big smile, "Why Dr. Phillips, is that kindness you're showing me?"

He looked at her dourly, "Not on your life young lady." She shook her head and followed him into Bruce's room.

Bruce was still on the respirator and coming out of sedation when they arrived. Lindsey went to his side, taking his hand in hers. "Hey. You look a lot better than you did 24 hours ago."

He looked at her slowly and squeezed her hand. Lindsey smiled at him and waited for Dr. Phillips to finish examining him. He informed Karen to keep Bruce awake, but mildly sedated, for 30 minutes before putting him completely back under.

Karen looked at Bruce apologetically, "I know it's not comfortable, but it will help you heal faster."

Dr. Phillips filled out his chart and then looked at Bruce. "Well Officer Nelson, I must say you and Officer Grossman are both very lucky men. It's a good thing one of our best nurses was there yesterday for you, or things might have been different." He glanced up at Lindsey who stared at him in shock, cheeks flushed. "It's true, Ms. Buchanan. I don't hand out that kind of praise lightly."

"I- I know, sir," she stammered. "Thank you."

"Now, I have rounds to finish, so I'll leave the officer in your care, Ms. Buchanan. Rest well, Officer Nelson, or as well as you can. Dr. Fox will be by later this evening to check on you again. Good day."

Once he left, Lindsey sank down into the chair next to Bruce's bed. Now that they were alone, she couldn't look at him without fighting tears. He squeezed her hand and she glanced at him, then turned away. He gripped her hand this time, and she looked up at him with tear filled eyes.

If he could move, he would hold her and tell her not to cry. She wasn't to blame for what happened; as a matter of fact, it was because she was there yesterday that he was able to chase away the frightening images of going under the trailer and hitting the wall. He wanted her to understand how thankful he was but couldn't tell her because of the respirator. He clenched his eyes shut for a moment and then focused on Lindsey, staring intently at her, willing her to understand his unspoken words.

Lindsey saw the intensity in Bruce's eyes and knew he was trying to communicate. She could see there was so much he wanted to say but couldn't. A single tear escaped his eye and she gently brushed it away with her free hand.

"Oh Bruce, I…" her voice faltered as emotion overwhelmed her and her tears began to fall.

He pulled her hand toward him and she leaned closer. He slowly raised his hand to touch her cheek and felt her tears on his fingers. She smiled sadly and sat up.

"I should probably go…"

Bruce held her hand firmly and tried to shake his head. He lay her hand down on the bed and forced it flat, then pretended to draw on her hand. She looked confused for a moment, then understood.

"You want paper and a pen? Okay, hold on."

She brought the items to him and placed the paper under his hand and gave him the pen. He wrote slowly, and then moved his hand so Lindsey could read what he wrote: "Some first date, huh?"

She laughed in spite of herself. They had quietly been trying to get together for a month, and yesterday was to be the first time they'd gone out without being with anyone else from Central. She touched his cheek, then leaned forward and kissed his forehead. "I can honestly say I'll never forget it, that's for sure."

-oOo-

Craig stood in the middle of the small hotel room surrounded by scattered papers on the floor. He looked up at the diagram he'd taped to the wall and smiled grimly.

"That should do it. They'll never know what hit them. Damn do-gooders." He started pacing the room, "Now who do I hit first? Baker, Poncherello, Baricza..." Craig paused and shook his head as if to clear it, and looked around the room.

When he saw the diagram, he shuddered and felt sick. He grabbed his hair and pulled, "Why are you doing this? I have to stop it!" Craig reached up to tear down the diagram when the Voice in his head yelled.

_**Leave it alone, Craig! We will do this according to plan!** _

"But why Baker or Poncherello? They've done nothing wrong!"

_**Haven't they? Daddy seems to think the world of Baker. That should be your spot in his heart, not his. And did you hear the way they both yelled at you yesterday? No respect for you or who you are. That's why we're going after them. And you're a better cop than that screw-up Ponch could ever hope to be. How the hell did he get that commendation last month for working that fire… the same fire you were at, for longer hours even and you got nothing?** _

"But he rescued that little girl. He deserved to be commended!"

_You_ _**should have rescued her, damn it! You were the one who heard her cries. You were the one who tried to calm her. Ponch was just playing hero and stole your glory.** _ _**Was it your fault she didn't speak English?** _ _'_ _No esté asustado, mija. Tenga cuidado. Le tengo.'_ _**What the hell did he tell her anyway? He's gonna pay for that.** _

Craig was now on his knees rocking back and forth. "I don't want to do this. I may not like them but they don't deserve-"

_**They all deserve to die. All of them,**_ roared the Voice.

"NO! I won't do it!" He was crying now, doubled over on the floor. "I'm no good. I shouldn't be a cop. I've let my father down for the last time."

_**We could prove your worth, Craig. Choose your Father instead.** _

Craig almost threw up and started to shake. "No! Why won't you leave me alone? Please…"

_**Just go to sleep Craig, and let me do my job. You're too emotional, too rational. That's it… just let me take control…** _

Craig fought the losing battle as the Voice took over his mind once more. "There. That's much better. But now I need to make another outline for dear old dad…"

-oOo-

Captain Anderson worked closely with his counterparts at the LAPD and Sheriff's office in the search for his son. They searched anyplace the captain could think of that Craig might go, but came up empty handed. He himself went to the judge and personally obtained a search warrant for Craig's apartment, but again came up empty. He had left no clue, no inclination as to his plans or whereabouts, and the captain was getting frustrated.

It had been two days since Craig's rampage on Central, and the officers were still on edge, especially those whom Craig had personally threatened. Sacramento had sent out counselors to help the officers cope, but so far, none had taken the offer. Getraer made sure everyone was checking in on a regular basis which grated on the officers, but they all knew it was for the best.

Will Anderson came into Joe's office later that afternoon and sat down heavily in the chair. "Thank God it's Friday, right?" There was no humor or joy in his voice. He sounded tired and beaten.

Joe looked at his friend, wishing there was something he could do to help him. "Have you considered talking to one of the counselors, Will? I can only imagine how hard this is for you…"

"How the hell did I mess this up, Joe? How did I fail my son?" He stood and paced the room, "We only want what's best for our children, right? We want to protect them from harm but let them grow and help them make good decisions. We want them to trust us. But what do you do when that trust is destroyed? Not only between father and son, but between a captain and his officers? You know what they're saying about me, don't you?"

Joe knew it was a rhetorical question, but he answered truthfully anyway. "Most of the men and women under your command are saying that you are a man of honor and integrity; that you are a shining example of what a true CHP Officer is and should be in the midst of extreme adversity. Those are the officers who matter."

Will actually smiled the first genuine smile he'd had in three days. "I appreciate that Joe. I truly do. However, we both know that the rest of the CHP isn't so forgiving."

"I don't give a rat's ass what the rest of the CHP thinks about you," Getraer shouted as he stood. "We've had our fair share of nepotism in this department and yours is not even  _ **close**_  to the worst case I've seen. Hell Will, I should be hanging out to dry with you! I should be on suspension as well and don't tell me otherwise." He shook his head, remembering past conversations with Craig.

"I've seen the look in Craig's eyes, begging me to give him another chance. He's made mistakes and offered to do extra paperwork for a week or my personal favorite, clean my office. His most common excuse is that he's not sleeping well. Any of those sound familiar?"

Will nodded and Joe walked around his desk and put his hand on his friend's shoulder. "The only reasons you're taking the heat alone are because first he's your son. And second because Lt. Michelson can't afford to lose the two of us during this crisis. I'm just as responsible for Craig's issues as you are, and I apologize that you have to be the scapegoat."

"It comes with the territory, Joe, it comes with the territory. And again, I thank you for your support. I just wish I knew what was going on with my son."

Half an hour later, the captain walked out to his car. Baricza, Turner and Linahan had just pulled in and waved at him as got to his vehicle. Kathy was the only one who saw him jump back as if bitten, then stumble and fall backwards.

"Captain!"

Barry and Jeb turned at her cry as she ran to the captain's side. They ran to assist Kathy, who had frozen in place, just a few feet from her superior officer and grabbed Turner as he approached.

"Don't get any closer. Look!"

There must have been 30 snakes of various species and sizes writhing inside and outside of the Captain's car, and one rather large rattlesnake was eyeing the captain as it slowly moved up his leg to his chest.

Barry started backing away, "I'll get Sarge!" He ran back to the building as fast as he could.

"Are you hurt, Captain? What can we do," Turner asked.

"Get this thing… off me… before I get bit!" He panted.

Kathy turned to see Getraer and several officers come running out. "I'll go call animal control, Captain. Sarge is coming." She met Getraer about 20 feet away. "There must be close to thirty snakes Sarge! I'm calling animal control."

"Snakes? What the hell? Has he been bitten? Is he hurt?"

"I don't think so."

Animal control arrived within 10 minutes and with the help of the officers, managed to get all of the snakes contained. The rattlesnake proved to be a difficult adversary, but after a tense stand off he was enticed off the captain and captured.

As the paramedics were examining Capt. Anderson to be sure he hadn't been bitten, Kathy approached him with a CSI agent and an evidence bag. "We found this in the front seat, Sir. CSI opened it for your safety, but they still want you to wear these." She offered him a pair of latex gloves. "I told them you'd want to read it yourself."

The captain put the gloves on and took the envelope out of the bag. "It's from Craig." He didn't realize he was holding his breath as he slid the letter out of the envelope. It read:

_Dad:_

_I hope you enjoyed your little surprise. Kinda reminds you of when we went camping_  
with Uncle Peter when I was little and came across that big 'ole snake, doesn't it? I hope  
you learned your lesson Dad. No one is safe. And things only get worse from here.

_Who's next to go? That's for me to know and you to find out! Protect your precious officers  
if you can. Try and catch me captain!_

_Yours truly,_

_Craig_


	5. Knowledge

KNOWLEDGE  
 _Acquaintance with facts and laws, combined with the awareness and understanding that sustain an officer through daily duties._

Craig's tactics had effectively unnerved all of A shift. With the attack on the captain, they all understood the severity of the situation like never before. Lt. Michelson lifted the captain's suspension and put him on paid leave, and assigned someone to guard him and his wife around the clock.

Even with Central on high alert, Craig still managed to slip letters into mailboxes and packages into squad cars or saddle bags. Sunday was the worst for Barry: first the bomb squad was called out when he found a parcel on his front seat. He was forced to take out a different squad car, and it turned out that this one had bad breaks. He was in pursuit of a robbery suspect when he realized he couldn't stop. Bonnie took over the pursuit while Steve cleared the freeway for him until he found a shoulder he could use to slow himself down. He hit the embankment hard and the car spun out of control and finally hit the center divider.

He was more shaken up than truly injured, but was still kept overnight at the hospital for observation. When he arrived in his room with Getraer and Captain Anderson, there was a note on his bedside table.

_Barry:_

_I hear you got the E ticket ride of the day. Too bad you survived to tell the tale. Maybe next time_  
you'll get it right and drive off a cliff or something. You shouldn't have yelled at me last week, Bear.  
Well, at least I rattled your cage, right?

_Rest well if you can, and say hi to Bruce and Grossie for me while you're here. If you're lucky, you'll  
have more company before you leave._

Hospital security was alerted and guards were posted. Getraer assured him he was safe, but Barry wasn't so sure. "You've got to be kidding me! Safe? He makes sure I'm in a squad with bad breaks, and then he gets into my hospital room unnoticed to leave a threatening note! No disrespect to the LAPD standing guard out there, but Craig could slip right past them and finish what he's started!"

Lindsey came into the room holding a letter like it might burn her. "I don't think you have anything to worry about Barry. You've been dealt with as far as Craig's concerned and he's moved on." She started to read the letter she'd received.

_My Dearest Nurse Buchanan:_

_I hope you weren't too upset at the sight of Officer Baricza arriving in your ER earlier today._  
I'm sorry that you have to be involved in this mess. You gave selflessly out on that freeway  
last week, unlike your friends in the CHP who think rather highly of themselves and believe  
they are above reproach.

 _I intend to show them the error of their ways. Unfortunately, that means more work for you,_  
my dear, but I guess it's the price you must pay for befriending such arrogant assholes. I will  
not stand idly by and watch my name run through the mud by a bunch of kiss-up do-gooders  
who will put down those of us who truly deserve the glory. You can expect to see several more  
officers in your ER before the week is through, and I will warn you, one may very well be your  
dear friend Steve McLeish. If the rest of your staff is as skilled as you are, they might stand a  
chance at survival. McLeish, Baker and the others need to beware, for I will not stop until I am  
cleared and order is restored to the CHP.

_Oh, and please tell my father I'm doing this all for him._

_Respectfully,_

_Officer Craig Anderson  
California Highway Patrol_

How she got through it without crying she didn't know. Maybe it was anger or fear, or just the general state of numbness that pervaded her very being. None of the men in the room said a word as they took in what she said. Lindsey handed the letter to the captain.

"He means every word of it, captain. The man who wrote this letter is the same one who confronted me in the parking structure last Wednesday, and that man will do whatever he feels he needs to do to get what he wants." Now her eyes filled with tears, "He is going to go after them with a vengeance and he won't stop until they are maimed or dead. You have to protect him captain. Don't let him kill Steve!"

-oOo-

Barry and Grossie were released from the hospital the next day and since he had the day off, Bear decided to spend it with Grossman and help him get settled at home. Bruce was due to be released Tuesday, which made everyone very happy.

They sat on the couch after making sure Grossie could get around the house unassisted, and thought back to the previous Tuesday. Artie looked up at Bear, his eyes clouded with concern. "What exactly happened out there last week, Bear? And what the hell has gotten into Craig? No one would give me a straight answer, and as your friend, I'm asking for one now."

Bear shook his head and sighed. "No one knows for sure Grossie. Anderson was the first officer on scene, followed closely by Baker, Poncherello, Clark and me. Lindsey happened to be driving home from work when it happened, so she stopped to help. She and Jon and Craig were working on you when I arrived, so I helped the other victims."

He paused and replayed the rest of the scene in his mind. Grossie looked at him sternly, "Barry, I have to know what happened. I know I was pinned in the front window of the cab, and that Jon and Lindsey were working on freeing me. From what I've been able to determine from snatches of conversations, Craig either tried to save me or kill me, and I need to know which it was!"

They were interrupted by a knock at the door, and Barry got up to answer it. "Hey, guys! Grossie, we've got company. And dinner too from the looks of it."

He ushered in Jon, Ponch, Bonnie and Turner, all laden with food. Barry was quickly seated again and told to rest while the others took care of preparations. Jeb and Bonnie spread out a blue blanket on the floor for their 'picnic' while Jon and Ponch put the finishing touches on dinner. Half an hour later, they were all enjoying a wonderful meal of spaghetti, garlic bread and salad, bantering back and forth good naturedly. When they were done, Bonnie got up and announced it was time for dessert, but Grossie stopped her.

"I really appreciate this guys, I truly do. You've all been so helpful this past week, and now I have something to ask you."

Barry had hoped Grossman would forget their conversation, but knew it was not to be. He shifted uncomfortably and glanced at Jon, knowing he was about to be in the hot seat.

Grossie looked right at Jon, "I want a straight answer from you Jon, okay? I need to know if Craig was trying to help me or kill me last week."

None of them knew what to expect, but that question certainly surprised them. Jon's heart jumped in shock, causing him to flush slightly, and he averted his eyes from Grossie. He looked at Ponch, then Bonnie before answering. "I honestly think he was trying to help, Grossie. He was just overzealous."

"Overzealous?" Cried Ponch incredulously, " _I'm_  overzealous, partner. Craig is a taco shy of a combo plate!" An uncomfortable silence followed before Ponch finally spoke again. "I'm sorry Jon, but you know I'm right. He might have been just trying to help, but he proved his track record once again for making  _bad_  choices."

Grossie unconsciously touched the wound on his chest. "Tell me exactly what happened from the moment you arrived Jon. Please?"

Jon sighed, "We pulled up to the scene and started to assist the vehicles involved. The man I checked on had been attended to by Lindsey already and said he was fine, except for a broken finger. He told me the nurse ran to the cab of the truck because there was someone pinned in there, so I ran over to find Lindsey and Craig trying to stabilize you. Craig looked a little nervous and was not really following Lindsey's directions, so she told him to go around to the outside of the cab and wait for her signal to try and move you. Part of the door frame was pressing against your chest, as was some glass from the windshield. We were trying to figure out how best to move you when you started to wake up."

"I remember you talking to me…" Grossie was very serious, staring intently at Jon, who smiled self-consciously.

"Yeah, you started to come around and Lindsey said I had to keep you still. I grabbed your left hand and just started talking."

"You sounded scared Jon, and nothing ever rattles you. I distinctly remember thinking that if you were afraid, I was probably in pretty bad shape and had better do whatever it was you asked of me."

This was the first time any of them had spoken about it in detail, and they were surprised as Jon wiped his eyes. "We didn't want you to move and make matters worse, and I was afraid you'd decide to try and get yourself unstuck. I was focused on what Lindsey was saying, and trying to make sure you didn't move and then Craig decided to…"

He took a shaky breath, trying not to visualize what happened next. Ponch put a hand on his shoulder and squeezed gently. He had been assisting EMT's with the driver of the truck when he heard Jon yell and had fought every instinct in his body to run to his partner's side. Staying with the medics was a decision he'd been kicking himself about for a week.

"I tried to get over there to help you, Jon, but I was putting the driver of the truck onto the gurney…"

"No one could have done anything to stop him Ponch," Bonnie said sadly.

"But why did he pull me? How could he not know I was pinned?"

Jon shook his head, "I dunno Grossie, I just don't know. He acted like he'd seen something we'd missed or weren't paying attention to. It all happened so fast… I don't even know where McLeish came from, but that tackle was pro quality, that's for sure." They all smiled or chuckled at that, which helped ease the tension in the room.

"Good 'ole Steve," said Turner softly as he leaned back on the blanket. "The two of us had been trying to get traffic moving through the right lane and shoulder. When I heard Lindsey scream I knew it was going to be trouble. Steve took off like a shot and tackled Craig. It was react first, ask questions later. You know how protective he is of Lindsey."

Bonnie laughed, "Yeah I know! You'd think he was her older brother or her father the way he hovers over her. When you all came over a few weeks ago, she couldn't get any time alone with Bruce because-" she suddenly blushed bright red and the others laughed. "Damn it Bonnie! When are you going to learn to keep your big mouth shut?"

"Don't worry about it Bon-Bon," Ponch said with a smile. "Bruce already enlisted me and Bear here to keep Steve occupied so he could go out with Lindsey…" his smile faded, "… last Tuesday night. God, no wonder she was so shaken up!"

Turner continued with his story. "Well, she screamed and it was over. But I'll tell you, Grossie, Steve's actions may very well have saved your life."

Jon nodded, "Craig didn't move you very far, but it was enough… I'm just glad the medics got there when they did. Of course, you made things difficult when you wouldn't let go of my hand, so they had to work around me. They even made room for me to ride in the ambulance with you."

"I think I remember that," Grossie responded. "I'm sorry I pulled you away from the scene Jon. Sounds like they needed you out there."

" _You_ needed me, Grossie, and that's what I was there for."

"Thanks Jon."

Barry picked up the thread, "While Jon and Lindsey were working on you, I had been checking out the empty trailer. I thought I saw a bike under there and called Ponch over. It had gone under the trailer and when it collapsed, you couldn't see the bike unless you were practically on top of it."

"I remember feeling sick when you started to yell, Ponch," Jon said quietly. "All I could think was 'Oh God, please not another one.' And then Lindsey ran over to help. I heard she put the both of you in your place," he said with a smile.

Barry grinned as he remembered the scene. "You could say that, Jon. She's one tough cookie, that's for sure. But if I'd known it was Bruce under there, I wouldn't have let her go. That had to be rough."

"Just be thankful it wasn't Steve," Bonnie said. "I don't think she would have been able to handle that."

Grossie looked over to Ponch. "I heard that a bunch of you lifted the trailer enough for them to get out?"

"Not quite right Grossie, but close," Ponch said. "Bruce was pinned between the wall and one of the tires. Lindsey said she could just get her hand between Bruce and the rim, so we thought if we could lift the trailer just an inch or so, he could roll free. It took about twenty-five guys-"

"Excuse me?" Bonnie glared at him, arms crossed.

Ponch gave a mock bow, "A thousand pardons my lady. It took about eighteen men and seven  _women_  to lift it for just a moment, and it worked. But then Einstein had to go and loosen the load of pipes instead of tightening them… I thought for sure McLeish was going to kill him right there with his bare hands."

"He almost did," Barry replied. "I had one hell of a time holding him back."

"You weren't the only one holding him back, Bear," Turner chimed in. "I thought he was going to take us both down to get to Anderson!"

"How  _did_  you keep him off of Anderson?" Grossie asked.

Bear smiled, "I told him Lindsey had to have moved when he told her to and she was probably further up and we needed to find her. I moved him to the front of the trailer, away from Craig. He was so focused on finding her that he forgot about Anderson. And then the gas tank caught fire and that's when panic set in."

He continued to describe all that happened, from finally finding Bruce and Lindsey under the trailer to the first explosion. Jon and Grossie listened intently while the others each remembered their own part in the day's events.

"Gee, I miss out on all the fun," Grossie said wistfully.

"Ha ha, Grossie. Not funny," Bonnie retorted. "We almost didn't get Lindsey out in one piece." She glanced at Barry, "Do you know how close that fire got to the three of you?"

Bear nodded, "Closer than I was happy with." He looked over at Grossman. "I could hear her calling out, but couldn't see her so I kept yelling to her and reaching around until I felt her hand. Then I pulled her out and ran behind some cars just before the second tank exploded. She was shaking like a leaf and McLeish took her from me. I'm not sure which one of us was more frightened at that moment."

The phone rang, startling the group. "A little tense are we," Grossie asked as he picked up the phone. "Hello? Oh, Hi Sarge! How-… huh? Bonnie? She's here with me and Bear and Jo-…okay, hold on." He held out the phone to Bonnie. "It's Sarge, and he sounds upset."

"Sarge? It's Bonnie. What's up? … What!?" She paced as far as the phone cord would allow, her frustration becoming more apparent by the minute as she listened to Joe on the other end. "Oh my God, Sarge! I'll be right- … but! … uh huh…" she sighed heavily and put a hand to her face. The men looked around nervously, waiting for her to finish. "You're sure? Because Turner and I can be there in fifteen minutes… Well I have to go home at some point, don't I? … Yeah. Okay, thanks Sarge. We'll see you in a little bit. … Okay. Bye."

The all sat in silence as she hung up the phone and faced the group. She spoke slowly, still trying to process the information. "Someone broke into my apartment and trashed it, then set a fire on my patio."

-oOo-

A Shift came in the next morning and sat down to briefing with very little talking. Bonnie came in and sat next to Bear, who gave her hand a quick squeeze before turning his attention to the front of the room. Lt. Michelson had walked up to the podium and the room was silent.

"I decided to brief you today so your sergeant can focus on the pressing matter at hand. Officer Anderson has made good on his threats once again, this time breaking into Officer Clark's home and setting a small fire outside. He left a note indicating his intent to strike again, so everyone needs to keep an eye out for each other. We still want officers to keep us informed of your locations as often as possible. Yes I know it's a hassle, but it could save a life out there. And," he now glanced around the room, his gaze resting on specific officers, "as much as I hate to say it, there are four officers who have been targeted by name. Keep your eyes and ears open, and if any of them are involved in a call, make sure we back them up. Turner, McLeish, Baker and Poncherello. Don't roll your eyes at me gentlemen, this is for your safety."

"So now we've gotta be babysat by our own," asked Jon vehemently. "You're playing right into Craig's hand lieutenant!"

Murmurs of assent filled the room and the lieutenant held up his hand for silence. "Unless you want to be confined to your homes under twenty-four hour guard, this is the only way we can protect you." Jon nodded, a look of defeat on his face.

Michelson continued, "LAPD and Sheriffs are also on the alert and have your handles to provide extra back up if needed. You three on motors take extra care out there. Alright ladies and gents, hit your beats."

Steve and Jeb met Ponch and Jon out by their motors. "How are we going to beat him at his own game," Steve asked as he strapped on his helmet. "He's a cop, he knows our routines. I'm getting sick and tired of looking over my shoulder every two seconds."

"You're preaching to the choir McLeish," Ponch replied. "I just hope they catch the bastard before I do."

"Get in line, partner. I'm first," Jon said grimly.

"Well, everybody stay close today," Turner said with a gleam in his eye. "If Anderson thinks he can hit several of us at once, it just might flush him out."

Steve looked at Turner, "You mean, present him with a target he can't resist?" Jeb nodded and Steve grinned. "I kinda like that idea! He may not know he's on the defensive, but at least it'll give us something to focus on."

"I dunno Turner," Jon said warily. "Sarge may not think it's such a good idea. And how do we protect each other?"

"Baker," chided Steve, "You worry too much." Steve put his hand out, palm down. "Okay team, let's do this!"

The four of them laughed as Jon, Ponch and Turner put their hands on top of his and all four shouted, "Go Team!"

Captain Anderson watched from the garage and smiled. It was good to see them laugh, even knowing their lives were in danger. He knew they would take care of each other, and his son would be brought to justice. His son… Will shook his head sadly. What was going on with Craig? The man that was terrorizing his officers was not the young man who wanted to become an officer like his father all those years ago.

Harlan walked over to the older man, "Is there something I can do for you, Captain?"

Will started, then looked down on the head mechanic. "Harlan! Oh, um, you checked their motors out for anything unusual, right?"

"There is nothing on any of their motors or in or on Turner's squad car that shouldn't be there sir," he replied with pride. "I've had my crew keep watch on those vehicles specifically and no one other than my men are allowed to even breathe on them until they get into their officers' hands. If something happens out there today, Sir, it won't be mechanical." He realized then who he was talking to and quickly added, "With all due respect, Sir."

The Captain smiled sadly, "It's all right, Harlan, I understand. No offence taken." He sighed and sat on a crate as he watched the four officers ride out of the lot and onto their beats. "I can honestly say that I don't recognize the man who is doing these atrocious things; that man is not my son. I have to stop him, Harlan, before…"

Harlan placed his hand on the Captain's shoulder, "You will Sir. I know you will."


	6. Loyalty

LOYALTY  
 _Faithfulness to the precepts of the Highway Patrol and to fellow officers._

Lindsey had taken the day off to help Bruce get settled at home. She set up his mattress so it was reclining, making it easier for him to rest. His ribs would still take several weeks to heal and moving was a slow and painful process. And since she knew Steve was working late Lindsey was more than happy to "play nurse" and spend some time with Bruce uninterrupted.

As they settled on the couch, she thought back to Saturday night when she and Steve had gone to dinner after visiting their friends in the hospital.

" _Why didn't you tell me you were interested in Bruce?"_

" _Like you'd give your blessing? Ha! That's a good one Mickey. The only reason I'm still single is because I haven't learned to not introduce my boyfriends to you."_

_He grinned wickedly. "Oh, that hurt Buck!"_

" _If I didn't know better," she said pointing her fork at him across the table, "I'd say you were trying to keep me single so I'd have to marry you!"_

" _Damn, she's on to me. Well, now that my master plan is out in the open, I suppose I should just get this over with." He got up, walked around the table and over to her, dropping to one knee._

_Horrified, Lindsey turned bright red as other patrons watched in amusement. "Mickey, don't! Come on, stop messing around."_

" _Who's messing around, Linds? I love you. I've always loved you. No one is good enough for you but me and you know that." His eyes were twinkling mischievously,"Marry me."_

_She didn't know whether to be shocked, mad or embarrassed. "Get up," she hissed. "Please Steve!"_

" _Only if you say Yes."_

_Her mind was spinning._ This can't be real. But what if he's serious...He's teasing me, he has to be!

" _Fine. If you want me to marry you, then you'll have to court me. That means take me out on real dates, buy me flowers and pretty trinkets. Show me that I mean more to you than anything else in the world. If you can do that, then yes Steve, I will marry you."_

" _She said Yes," he announced and several people applauded. Lindsey buried her face in her hands, wishing the floor would swallow her whole right then and there. He sat down beside her and grinned. "See, that wasn't so difficult, was it?"_

" _Why did you do that? What were you thinking?" She was starting to let embarrassment turn to anger, and Steve realized that he was about to get it with both barrels._

" _You think that I'm preventing you from dating, so I thought I'd go with it. You know, we make a great couple..."_

" _Steve, I'm serious!"_

" _So am I." He smiled as she tried to respond, but found no words. "People don't believe me when I tell them we're just friends because we act like a couple already. So why not do it for real?"_

" _Because," she spluttered, "because I like things the way they are. We're_ best friends _Mickey. I don't want to lose that, or you. Why am I explaining this to you? We went through this six years ago and decided it wouldn't work. Oh you make me crazy!" She smacked him on the arm. "_ This  _is why I didn't tell you about Bruce. You always have to make a big joke out of anyone I date, and I've had it! I always ask your opinion because I value our friendship, but if you think so little of me that you have to destroy any hope-"_

" _Lindsey, I'm sorry. Hey, I was kidding." He held his hands up in surrender, then took her hands in his. "I know it would never work. I just never thought you'd want to date a cop. I've seen you worry about me, and I couldn't imagine you putting yourself through this for more than one person. I make you crazy enough, I know I do." He brushed a tear from her cheek tenderly, "I'm sorry Buck. I really am. Bruce is a great guy and if you want my blessing, you have it."_

_She smiled at him, then started to giggle, "You are horrible, you know that?"_

" _But that's why you love me so much," He replied. "I keep you on your toes."_

"What are you smiling at, Linds," Bruce asked.

"Huh? Oh! I'm sorry, I was just thinking about when Mickey, sorry, when Steve 'found out' about us and gave me his permission to see you if I wanted to."

Bruce shook his head, "You needed his  _permission_  to see me?"

Lindsey laughed. "No no, Not like that. Well, maybe like that. He's just always been so protective, which is why I wouldn't let you say anything to him initially. He's scared off several guys in the past, or made others so crazy they just left. I've had a few he's liked, but no one he's ever known before. But he's promised to behave and let us go about our business without his interference."

"Well, I'm glad to know he approves, because whether he did or not, I was still going to ask you out."

She blushed and held his hand, tracing the back of it with one finger. "And I still would have said yes."

"I'm glad to hear it," he said as he picked up her hand and kissed it.

Feeling a little nervous, Lindsey changed the subject. "So, what shall I make us for lunch? Do you have anything still edible in this bachelor pad?"

"Probably not," he laughed and winced. "I can't wait to be able to laugh without hurting myself. There's Duke's Burgers right on the corner, and they deliver. I think I have a menu on the fridge."

Half an hour later, they were enjoying two very large burgers and each other's company. The TV was on but neither was paying close attention to it. Bruce had forced Lindsey to tell him about the accident in detail because he wanted to know what he really remembered, and he knew it would help them both have closure. As they were talking, the show was interrupted by a breaking news story.

They were so engrossed in conversation that they didn't notice right away, but when Bruce looked at the TV, his eyes went wide. "Lindsey look, that's Turner and Bonnie!"

She grabbed the remote and turned up the volume. "…is that the suspect has led LAPD and CHP all over the Century City and West Hollywood areas. This is a shot taken ten minutes ago as the chase came to an end, on the suspect's terms."

The two of them watched in horror as the silver Dodge Ram pick-up led the motor and squad officers down a long narrow cul-de-sac, then spun around, sped up and charged them head on. The two motor officers in the lead were at the narrowest point of the street with no way to avoid being hit and were struck by the truck as he raced back up the street. The squad cars tried to pull to the side, but only one succeeded and the truck rammed the other squad car, shoving it into other cars parked there. The remaining units scattered as the truck barreled up the cul-de-sac and back onto the main street. Two motor officers started to give chase, but the aerial camera cut back to the officers who had been hit. The shot zoomed in as close as it could to show the two CHP motorcycles, one of which had pinned its rider. The second officer had been thrown against a parked van and was now lying unmoving on the ground.

The camera pulled back to show the squad car, right side ripped apart, the driver slumped in the seat. The left side of the vehicle was crushed against another car and officers were trying to extricate the driver. Bruce finally found his voice, but it was barely above a whisper. "Oh my God… Turner…"

The voice-over continued as the chopper cut to a live picture. "Paramedics are now on scene. It looks like one officer has just been taken to Cedar's…"

Lindsey turned off the TV and grabbed her purse. "I have to be there Bruce. Will you be-"

"I'm coming with you." He stood quickly, ignoring the pain. "I can't sit here and wait for a phone call, and you know half of Central and a bunch of LAPD officers will be there. And I can't let you deal with this alone."

-oOo-

Lindsey pulled into the emergency room parking lot and ran around to help Bruce out, but he shooed her away. "Go! I can get in there on my own. I'll be fine."

She only paused a moment before dashing into the ER. Tyler, the nurse on duty called out to her, "Lindsey! He's in room 7. There's an extra pair of scrubs in room 4."

"Thanks Tyler," she cried as she ran through the doors into the ward.

Bruce came in a few minutes later, helped by Steve and Bonnie. He watched as Turner was wheeled back into the ER, followed closely by Ponch. Sgt. Getraer stormed in, helmet in hand. "Where are they?"

"They just took Turner and Ponch back, Sarge. Jon's been here for about fifteen minutes," Bruce replied. "Did we catch the guy?"

It took Joe a moment to register who he was talking to. "Nelson? What are you doing here? How…?"

"We saw it on the news, Sarge. Lindsey and I came down the second we knew what was going on. She's in there now."

More officers filtered in looking concerned. An LAPD officer came over to Joe, "Sergeant? I'm Sgt. Sue Maddux. I'm so sorry we didn't get there sooner…"

"You did your best, sergeant. That's all we could ask for. Did you get him?"

The look on her face said it all and Joe fought the urge to throw his helmet at the wall. Sue ran a hand through her short brown hair and said, "He knew exactly what he was doing and where he was going. He knew the accident would cause confusion and that most of us would stop to help the injured. I had two motors and three cruisers after him, but he simply vanished. Not what you wanted to hear I know…"

Captain Anderson and Lt. Michelson rushed in and were briefed by Joe and Sgt. Maddux with the little information they had. Now the inevitable waiting game began once more. Twenty minutes into the wait, Cadet Irene Montez entered the waiting room and approached the Captain. She held out a letter, "I was told to deliver this directly to you, captain. And you need to read it out loud."

Anderson looked at the young officer hard as he took the letter from her. "Excuse me, cadet?"

She stood ramrod straight and replied in a voice that shook slightly, "He said you had to read it out loud, sir."

"Who said, Cadet Montez?" Joe was standing at her side and could now see the fear she was trying so desperately to hide. He touched her shoulder and she jumped, and at that moment he knew the answer. She was fighting for control and Getraer cursed Craig Anderson for doing this to her. All eyes were on them and he spoke gently, "Cadet Montez. Irene, was he at Central? Is that where he gave this to you?"

She glanced at him briefly and nodded, willing herself not to cry. He had terrified her, threatened her, tried to touch her… but she screamed and fought back, actually scaring  _him_! She would not dissolve, she was a California Highway Patrol Officer, loyal to her fellow officers who needed her.

Joe looked at Lt. Michelson who nodded and went to call Central. "Are you all right cadet? Did he-"

"He tried sir, but I took care of him." The pride in her voice was unmistakable and Joe knew he had a fine officer on his hands. "Once he knew I was no easy target, he tucked tail and fled."

The sergeant smiled warmly at her, "Thank you Cadet Montez. I'll have the lieutenant inform your sergeant that you will be here waiting for our reply."

"Thank you, sir," she said with obvious relief. She quickly sat beside Sindy and Bonnie, who encouraged her.

Getraer turned to the captain who had just finished reading the letter. His face was ashen.

"Will, what it is? What does it say?"

"Craig has truly lost his mind, Joe. This man is not my son." The pain in his voice matched the look on his face, his hands trembling as he held the letter.

The sergeant took the letter and started to read it, then looked at Will in shock.

His friend nodded sadly, "I can't do it Joe, but they need to hear it…"

Getraer walked to the center of the room and all the officers fell silent. He noticed that a few LAPD officers were trying to leave, most likely thinking this was a CHP matter, but he changed that thought quickly as he started to read:

_To the officers of the CHP and LAPD:_

_I was extremely impressed with the joint effort put forth today in trying to apprehend me. But as you_  
can see, I am free and all of you are now crowded together in a waiting room, hoping and praying your  
fellow officers survive. You should have known someone was going to get hurt captain. I warned  
you but did you listen? No, you decided to let people with targets on them continue to be out on the  
streets where I could reach them. Their injuries are on your head, not mine.

_I would not put my officers in harm's way, knowing their lives had been threatened. But then again,_  
I'm neither the lieutenant nor my dad. It looked like Baker and Poncherello went down hard, followed  
closely by Turner. Thanks for making things so easy on me guys. I'm sure your officers appreciate it.  
How many more people are you going to put in danger before you realize I mean what I say?

_And how gallant of the LAPD to provide back up when they knew which officers were involved in the  
pursuit. You'd better watch out boys and girls, because I just might come after those of you in Blue next._

_I hope Cadet Mendez did her job well today. I'd hate to have to add her to my list._

_Respectfully yours,_

_Craig Anderson_

-oOo-

He watched the tape of the news report for what must have been the fifteenth time that night and sighed in contentment. They played right into his hands and it couldn't have gone better if he had planned their beats himself. Turner caught him speeding, and he dutifully pulled over. But when Jeb started to approach the truck, Craig took off, instigating pursuit.

Baker and Poncherello were close at hand and joined in, followed by an LAPD squad car and a motor. He listened to the CHP frequency and knew that Turner had not seen him, but was beginning to suspect that it was him. Craig smiled at the memory and patted the map beside him on the bed. "Mapping that route was the smartest thing I ever did."

As they neared the cul-de-sac in the industrial complex, Baker and Poncherello took the lead to try and cut him off. But he was ready for them and gave no quarter. The fools followed him into the cul-de-sac, and to their deaths. He liked watching the aerial view of the chase; he was able to see exactly what kind of damage he had done before taking off once more. And he knew that more than half of the pursuing officers would stay to help the injured out of loyalty…

That meant something to him once. Loyalty, Honor, Integrity, Knowledge.

"Dad was so proud when I graduated Academy. I was going to be just like him." He bowed his head as a myriad of images ran rampant through his mind: the young, energetic officer following in his fathers footsteps, arrests made, commendations, mistakes, disciplines, probation… he held his head in his hands as he felt the anger take hold once more. He didn't like the 'Dark Craig', but didn't have the strength to fight him anymore. The horror of the acts he committed still made him ill, but he was numb now; he would not allow himself to feel anymore. But he did wish his father would come save him…

The weak moment passed and Craig was whole once more. "I can't believe I ever fell for the party line: Honor, Integrity, Character, Courtesy… what am I, a freaking Boy Scout?" He turned off the TV and studied the papers on the wall. He took down the ones labeled Baker, Turner and Poncherello and threw them in the trash. There weren't too many left up there now: Getraer, McLeish, Michelson, Cahill.

Except for Michelson, they had all been at the accident scene that day. All of them blamed him for what happened to Grossie and Bruce and now they would pay. But who to hit next? He clustered the papers close together on the wall, then picked up a marker, closed his eyes and threw it at the wall like a dart.

He opened his eyes and smiled, "Officer McLeish, come on down! You are the next contestant on The Price is Right!"

-oOo-

The waiting was almost unbearable. For the second time in seven days, the officers of Central Division were anxiously awaiting news of fallen comrades. Jon had been the most seriously injured since his bike rolled on top of him when he was hit by the truck, and he had not regained consciousness since arriving at the hospital three hours prior.

Ponch had hit the hood of a van and was actually able to control his fall from there, minimizing his injuries. From the moment he woke up in the ambulance, he started asking to be with Jon. Turner was bruised up and down his left side and had a mild concussion, and had just been released. Instead of going home, he sat with his friends, waiting to hear about Jon.

Several CHP and LAPD officers had come and gone, many unable to bear the waiting. Bonnie was flipping through an outdated People magazine while Bruce tried to find a comfortable position to sit in. He eventually gave up and joined Steve and Bear pacing the waiting room. Sgt. Getraer and Sgt. Maddux were talking quietly in the corner and Captain Anderson sat alone, staring at the linoleum floor, absentmindedly twisting his wedding band.

Dr. Fox came out and they all stood as one, anxious for the news. He was startled to see Jeb Turner and commented, "Didn't I send you home an hour ago?"

Jeb smiled. "I can't leave till one of them does, and I wanted to know how Jon was."

"I see. Well, I can tell you all that Officer Poncherello is resting comfortably now, and he will be able to go home tomorrow." He paused for a moment before continuing. "Officer Baker sustained multiple lacerations to his upper torso and arms, and is-"

The ER door burst open startling the group. "He's awake!" Lindsey said breathlessly as she tried to hide her obvious excitement under a thin layer of professionalism. "Dan's with him, I mean Dr. Vollgraf is with him now. He's alert and responsive. And he wants to see Sergeant Getraer as soon as possible."

They all breathed a sigh of relief and finally let themselves relax while Lindsey spoke to Dr. Fox. He thanked her and then turned back to the group. "I need to go check on Officer Baker, but I'm sure we'll be able to take a few of you up to see him within the hour."

As he left, Lindsey walked over to Bruce and hugged him as tightly as his injured ribs would allow.

"Careful with him, Buck. He's spent too much time here already," Steve said playfully. "You don't want him to be readmitted, do ya?"

Her reply was muffled by Bruce's shoulder, and she slowly released him then turned to Steve. He could see the fear and relief in her eyes and he opened his arms to her, drawing her into a tight hug. She was hiding her stress well but he saw it in her eyes and felt it as she clung to him. He bent down slightly and whispered in her ear. "It's all gonna be fine, Linds. You gonna be okay?"

She nodded and took a deep breath, pulling away from him to face the others. She saw Turner and wagged a finger at him. "You, sir, should be at home resting. Do you need a ride home? Because I'd be more than happy to drive you."

"I'll be taking him Lindsey, thanks." Bonnie replied. "But after we see Jon and Ponch."

It was another twenty-five minutes before Drs. Vollgraf and Fox came back and started taking groups of three up to see the two officers, starting with Will, Joe and Lt. Michelson. Each group had just five minutes, so it didn't take too long for everyone to have a chance to see them before heading home or back to Central to write their reports. Steve and Bruce went in the third group along with Bonnie, and like the others before them they looked much more relaxed when they returned than when they had left the room.

Lindsey and Bruce said their goodbyes and headed back to his place. They spent most of the drive in quiet contemplation until Bruce reached over and took her hand in his. "Is this what it was like last week Linds?"

She nodded and stared straight ahead. "Yeah. It was very similar to last week Bruce. But this time I was able to do my job without falling apart." He started to protest and she silenced him with her hand. "No, don't chide me. I know I did my job well last week too, but this time was different. I only had to deal with staying in 'nurse mode' and not let my friendship with them cloud my judgment. Last week I was the entire ER staff out on that freeway making decisions that scared the crap outta me. Today I followed orders and did my job the way I've always done it, and I was able to keep the fear at bay. I just don't know how much more of this I can take though. I know Steve is on Craig's 'hit list'…" She trailed off to wipe a tear from her eye. "I don't know what I would do if they brought him in."

"You would do whatever it takes to save him, Linds. Just like you did for me." They pulled into Bruce's parking stall and got out of the car. Bruce walked around to the driver's side and took Lindsey's hands in his. "I have the utmost faith in you and your ability to save lives, no matter who they are. And I also know that the CHP will do everything in their power to protect Steve and the others until Craig is caught."

"I pray to God you're right," she said as she held him tenderly.

An hour later Lindsey was back at her condo. Scooter greeted her at the door, rubbing her legs and meowing for attention. She scooped him up and snuggled him to her chest, letting his purr soothe her. He nuzzled her neck and tried to nibble on the gold chain around her neck, causing her to giggle. "Stop it Scooter. That tickles!"

She carried him to the couch and sat down heavily. He settled himself on her stomach and chest, kneading on her with his front paws. She stroked his silky fur and let herself finally feel the fear she had buried when she first ran into the ER to help Jon. Sensing a change in his human, Scooter scrutinized her before gently head butting her chin and rubbing his face against hers. When she didn't respond, he started to lick her face where the salty tears left their winding trails.

"Twice in one week. And now Steve has a huge target on his back, Scooter. How are they going to protect him? What am I going to do if they bring him in while I'm on duty?" She held him again and let herself cry, hoping to ease the pain. They stayed that way for about ten minutes until the phone rang.

Lindsey wiped her eyes and tried to sound normal. "Hello? Oh, hi Mickey. Yeah, I'm fine, just drained. No, really. I'm okay. How are you? I know. I'm scared too. Oh Mickey, please don't cry…"


	7. Honor

HONOR  
 _Highest esteem for the principles upon which the California Highway Patrol has been built_

Early Wednesday morning Tina's shift was in full swing. She headed down the hall to room 1217 and unlocked the door. She shook her head in dismay as she surveyed the room, picking up a crumpled bed sheet from the floor with her thumb and forefinger in disgust. "I am so not cleaning this place alone."

She headed back to her cleaning cart for her rubber gloves and then went over to the phone and called the housekeeping office. "Hey Marisol, its Tina. I'm in 1217… yeah, the one we couldn't clean for a week. I'm gonna need some help in here."

Tina set to work, gathering the sheets from the bed and floor. Marisol joined her about five minutes later and started picking up the trash that was strewn across the room. She grabbed a handful of papers and started to throw them away when something written on the top sheet caught her eye.

After a minute Tina walked out of the bathroom. "Good Lord Mar, would you belie- hey, what's wrong?"

"Look at this." She handed the stack of papers to her friend and waited for her reply.

"Oh my God."

"I'm calling a supervisor in here."

"Screw the supervisor, Mar. Call the police!"

-oOo-

Joe and Will sat in the sergeant's office going over reports when the phone rang. "Getraer."

"Joe, its Sue Maddux with LAPD."

"Hello, sergeant. To what do I owe the honor of this call?"

"I need you and the captain to come down to the Sleep Tight Inn off of Lankersham and 9th right away. We've gotten our first lead on Craig."

Joe stood quickly and motioned for the captain to get ready to leave. "We'll be there as soon as possible."

They took an unmarked car and were at the inn twenty minutes later. A small crowd had gathered to watch the investigation, forcing them to park across the street and walk over. Just as the reached the other side, a news van pulled up and a reporter and cameraman hopped out. "Great, just great. The vultures have arrived," Will said tersely.

The CHP officers walked up to the caution tape and were admitted right away. They quickly found Maddux who led them into the hotel room and to the king size bed. She handed them each a pair of surgical gloves and pointed to the papers spread out upon the beige blanket over the bed.

"You know how I said yesterday that I thought Craig had this all planned out? Well, here's your proof, and then some."

They put on the gloves and carefully looked through the papers scattered on the bed. There was the map of the industrial complex where Craig led them the day before, and a list of places and times with Bonnie's name on the top. Several other sheets had random notes and drawings depicting all sorts of gruesome methods of torture or death.

The captain picked up another paper and stared at it until he couldn't see through the tears. Sgt. Maddux noticed and put a hand on Sgt. Getraer's arm, nodding towards the captain.

"What is it, Will?" Joe asked.

He held out the paper for them to see. A CHP badge was drawn in detail. Below it was written the CHP Code of Honor in neat handwriting interspersed with an angry looking print.

 _To serve the United States of America and the State of California honestly,  
and conscientiously; and fulfill my oath as a soldier of the law; To uphold  
and maintain the honor and integrity of the California Highway Patrol  
_ **THERE IS NO HONOR** _; Be loyal to my fellow officers_ **WHO WERE  
NEVER LOYAL TO ME** _; respect and obey my seniors in rank_ **WHO  
DON'T GIVE A RAT'S ASS FOR ANYONE OR ANYTHING BUT  
THEMSELVES** _; and enforce the law without fear, favor, or discrimination  
_ **MY LAW WILL BE INFORCED** _; Assist those in peril or distress, and if  
necessary lay down my life rather than swerve from the path of duty  
(_ I don't want to die _); My personal conduct shall at all times be above  
reproach and I will never knowingly commit any act that will in any way  
bring discredit upon the California Highway Patrol or any member thereof  
_ **JUST LIKE LAST WEEK ON THE 405 FREEWAY PEOPLE!** _; To all of this_  
I do solemnly pledge my sacred honor as an Officer of the California Highway Patrol." ****  
THERE IS NO HONOR!

"May I see that, captain?" Sgt. Maddux held out her hand for the paper and he handed it over. She scrutinized the page once more. "Look here in the middle of the code where he writes an aside that isn't in print. '...and if necessary lay down my life rather than swerve from the path of duty (I don't want to die)'. What do you think that means?"

Will stared at it then shook his head. "I wish I could tell you, sergeant. But I think Craig is the only one who has that answer."

"And look at this. The badge is missing a point at the 7 o'clock position. Why that point?"

The two men looked at each other before Joe finally voiced an answer. "That would be the point that corresponds with honor."

-oOo-

The next day, Craig sat on the rocks overlooking the ocean and sighed. He had the LAPD and the CHP running in circles, paranoid and jumping at shadows. He was all over the news and there was even a hotline to call if anyone spotted him, but no one cared about a mangy looking bum down in Newport Beach. He wasn't a threat to anyone except Steve McLeish.

He thought back over the past week with a smile. Every plan had so far gone flawlessly and he was now waiting for things to die down again before hitting McLeish. Craig stood up, stretched and started slowly walking back towards the beach.

After a ten minute walk, he went back to the beat up green VW van he'd bought at a local junk yard and climbed inside. The previous owner had obviously used it as a rolling motel room which suited Craig's needs just fine. He sat down on the old mattress and drew the dark blue curtains so he could light the lantern. The patterns the light made had fascinated him since childhood and this small space reminded him of the tree fort his dad had built him for his seventh birthday. No one ever bothered him there. It was safe and secure.

Pulling the box of papers up onto the bed, Craig started laying out his plans for McLeish. As he sorted through the papers, he became agitated. "Where are they? Where the hell are the plans from Tuesday? And where is my new CHP Code of Honor?"

Within minutes the peace of the van was gone. Craig tore everything apart but couldn't find what he was looking for. "Where did they go, damn it? I needed those to-" he stopped short as a flash of memory crossed his mind. "Oh, no. You little bastard. You didn't."

He closed his eyes and thought hard.  ** _Meek, what the hell have you done, little man?_**

_I threw the papers away like we always do._

**_No. Not 'like we always do'. You left them in the room, didn't you? Didn't you!_ **

He could feel the fear from the one he called Meek and that was answer enough. He opened his eyes and grabbed his hair and pulled hard.

"So you thought you would leave them a clue, did you? Well, I won't allow you to make that same mistake again Meek, I promise you." He visualized torturing his weaker self and laughed at his pain. "Oh, don't worry, Meek. I'm saving the good stuff for Steve."

-oOo-

It had been a week and a half since the last attack, and there had been no notes from Craig or any indication that he was after any of the officers. This grated on the officers who were still considered targets, and Steve in particular was getting more and more frustrated with every passing day. He had LAPD following him during his off hours, and when he was on duty, he knew that someone was always close at hand to protect him if necessary. But Craig seemed to have vanished into thin air.

"Maybe he's forgotten all about us," Sindy said one afternoon at lunch. "I'd love to be able to stop worrying about watching my back."

Turner shook his head. "Not likely. My guess is he's just trying to psyche us out so we make a mistake and then he makes his move."

"Thanks for the comforting thought," Steve said dryly. "At least you aren't being watched around the clock or being forced into desk duty 'for your own safety'."

"What's wrong with desk duty?" Grossie asked as he took a bite of his gyro. "You find out all sorts of interesting things working the front desk. For example-"

"Not now Grossie," they chorused and then laughed.

"I'll take a slow beat over desk duty any day of the week," Steve said with a wave of a french fry.

"Hear hear," Sindy and Turner replied.

"So, what are our plans this evening," Steve asked. "Are we still getting together at Kathy's?"

Turner nodded. "As far as I know we are. Are bringing anyone Sindy?"

"I thought I'd bring my LAPD shadow. He would probably enjoy an evening personally guarding a pretty lady instead of just sitting in his squad car."

"You wish," Steve said and they all laughed. "So you're on the solo beat with Baker and Poncherello then?"

She smiled, "I sure am. How about you Steve? Are you bringing anyone besides your shadow?"

"Lindsey, who else?"

Grossie laughed, "I think Bruce might have a problem with that, McLeish. They're an item now, remember?"

The three officers grinned at the shocked expression on their friend's face. He swallowed and then said quietly, "Right. We… we were all going to go together." He quickly scooped up the remains of his meal and stood to go. "I've gotta get back out there before someone misses me. I think its TC's turn to watch me today."

"Steve, wait." Sindy stood with him.

"Forget it Cahill. I'll see you back at the station."

He threw his trash out and walked out front to his bike, grabbed his helmet and got on his motor. As he tightened the strap under his chin, he thought about what Sindy had said.

"What am I so upset about?" He said aloud. "She and Bruce make a cute couple. Hell, she even makes him feel tall." He tried to laugh but couldn't.  _Come on McLeish, snap out of it. She's your best friend. Plus you already tried dating years ago and it wasn't right. So quit freaking out. If you chase another guy away she'll never forgive you._

He started his motor and pulled out onto the street, unaware of the green VW van that was watching his every move.

-oOo-

Steve sat in his car in front of Lindsey's condo and stared up at her living room window. He'd thought a lot about their relationship after what had happened at lunch that afternoon, and he'd decided the two of them needed to talk about it.

His left foot bounced nervously as he tried for the fourth time to get out of the car. "This is ridiculous. What the hell am I afraid of?" He ran a hand through his hair and thought back to the night he 'proposed' to her.

" _I love you. I've always loved you. No one is good enough for you but me and you know that. Marry me."_

"I do love her. We've been friends forever, and the last time we tried dating was a disaster. We decided then we do much better as friends than lovers, so why go and mess up a good thing McLeish? Oh good, I'm talking to myself. I must be insane." He put his arm on the door and rested his head on it, thinking about what else he had said to her.

" _Lindsey, I'm sorry. Hey, I was kidding."_

He sighed and forced himself to speak the words aloud. "The problem is, I don't think I was kidding."

A shadow crossed the window and sat on the sill. Scooter looked out and stared right at him then jumped out of the window again. "Great. The cat's outta the bag now." He glanced at his watch. "Seven o'clock. That gives me about half an hour to talk to her before we go to the party."

With a calmness he didn't truly feel, Steve got out of his car and approached her front door.

The driver of the green van smiled and watched the officer in the unmarked squad car put a call into the station on his radio.

"Who watches the watchers, my friend? That would be me. And your tour of duty has just about come to an end."

-oOo-

As Lindsey was getting ready to leave there was a knock at the door. "Oh great, just what I need. Just a minute," she called out.

Scooter was at the door pawing it and meowing in the tiny kitten voice he only used whenever Steve was around. "Ah, so its Mickey is it?" She opened the door with a smile. She noticed he was wearing her favorite dark blue button down shirt and dark grey slacks. "Hey there brown eyes. My, don't you look spiffy this evening. The party's at Kathy's place, not mine."

"Yeah, I know, but I wanted to talk to you beforehand." He hoped she didn't see his hands shaking and quickly put them in his pockets.

The seriousness of his tone made Lindsey's smile fade slightly. "Is everything all right, Steve?"

He sat down on the couch and Scooter jumped into his lap purring happily. Scratching the cat behind the ears, he hoped that petting Scooter would calm his nerves. Lindsey sat down next to him, and he took a deep breath before speaking.

"I'm jealous."

Her eyebrows rose in shock. "Jealous? Of what?"

"Nevermind. Just forget I was even here." He started to stand up causing Scooter to jump down and Lindsey grabbed his arm.

"No Steve. I won't forget about it. What are you jealous…"

The pained but loving look in his eyes told her instantly. Her heart raced causing her to flush and she remembered what Bruce had said to her the other day on the phone.

" _I've liked you from the first time I saw you, but I didn't say anything because I thought you were dating McLeish. I'm telling you, Lindsey, he's in love with you but he's too stubborn to admit it. And I think you feel the same way about him too."_

"Oh Mickey," she gently squeezed his hand.

He looked down at their entwined hands, unable to look at her face. "Sindy asked me today at lunch who I was taking to the party tonight, and without hesitation I said you. Then Grossie said that Bruce might have issue with that and I got upset and walked out. I know I said I was fine with you dating him and I am. Well, at least I thought I was. I don't think I can share you. Oh hell, Buck, I don't want to share you with anyone."

She couldn't say anything for several seconds as she tried to control her emotions. Fear and joy clashed within her and made her heart race. Steve was watching her with a sad yet confused and frustrated look on his face, and that's when the impulse struck her. Before she could change her mind, she leaned forward and kissed him.

Shocked, Steve tried to pull away but Lindsey placed her hand behind his neck and applied gentle pressure to keep him there. Emboldened by her gesture, he deepened the kiss and caressed the side of her face, enjoying every new sensation she sent through him.

When he finally broke the kiss, he slowly opened his eyes and tried to stop his spinning emotions. He didn't know what he had expected to happen this evening, but he wasn't prepared for  _this_.

A self-conscious smile played on his lips. "So, why didn't it feel this good six years ago?"

Lindsey shook her head slowly, then stood up and started pacing the room.

"Remember when we all went to dinner last weekend and then went dancing? Well, I guess Bruce got jealous when you and I were dancing together. I told him he had nothing to be jealous of and do you know what he said to me, Mickey? He said that you're in love with me and you're too stubborn to admit it." Steve looked stunned as she continued. "Oh but wait, there's more. He also thinks I might be in love with you too. He said that since I need to figure out what or who I want, he's going to 'bow out gracefully' so I can make up my mind."

"He broke up with you?"

"Yes, Steve. He broke up with me."

"Why?"

"Because I think he might be right, Mickey. Think about it. You  _proposed_  to me two and a half weeks ago, or did you forget already?" Now it was his turn to blush. She sat beside him again and placed her trembling hands in his. "You told me that night that you've always loved me and that no one was good enough for me but you."

"I've always hated that perfect memory of yours," he said wryly as he tried to keep his heart from beating out of his chest.

Lindsey stuck her tongue out at him then became serious one more. "I thought you might be teasing me that night, but somehow I knew you were serious, too." She took a deep breath and looked directly in his eyes. "I think we should really give it a try."

Steve didn't say anything, but continued to stare at her. Lindsey squeezed his hands.

"Mickey, say something. What are you thinking?"

"I, I'm not sure."

"Isn't this what you wanted?"

He leaned back on the couch, looking frustrated. "I don't know what I wanted, Buck. That night when I 'proposed', you told me that you like things just the way they are, that you  _liked_ being best friends and you didn't want to lose that. Now you're telling me that everybody thinks we're in love so we should just go ahead and try dating again?" He sat up now, his tone harsh. "Don't you remember what happened the last time we dated? It nearly ended our friendship! What makes you think it'll work  _this_  time?"

The accusatory tone struck her hard and she lashed back at him. "What the hell was I supposed to say to you that night, Steve? You embarrassed me in front of I don't know how many strangers and you wouldn't let up."

Unable to contain her frustration, she stood again giving her an all-too-rare height advantage and she pointed an accusing finger at him.

"You tease me about us being a couple all the time and I couldn't be sure if you were serious that night or not. I was flustered and upset. And by the way, I also told you that if you wanted me to marry you, then you needed to court me. Take me on dates and make me feel special. How much more clearly do I have to spell it out for you? Anyway, you're the one who just said you don't want to share me with anyone!"

Steve stood suddenly and walked quickly to the door."I've gotta go. I'll see you at the party."

"Steve wait. Don't do this!" She tried to follow him but he was out the door before she could stop him.

He stormed out to his car and sped off, unaware that his friendly LAPD shadow had been replaced by a demon bent on his utter destruction.

-oOo-

Scooter looked up at Lindsey and hopped onto the couch so he could rub her hand against his head.

She scooped him up and held him tightly trying not to cry. He squirmed in her grip to no avail so he finally growled at her. She dropped him on the couch and walked to her bedroom with the intent of staying home. Sitting on the bed, she thought back to this morning when she awoke from a terrifying dream.

She was crawling under the trailer looking for Bruce when she heard Steve call out to her. He was pinned under the other set of tires and the fire was raging. She knew she only had a minute at the most and she couldn't possibly save both of them. They yelled for her to save them as the fire moved closer and she was frozen in place, unable to make a decision. With the fire nearly on top of them, she awoke in tears with a shriek of terror.

"Don't make me choose between you!"

Scooter jumped onto the bed, startling her back to the present. He had brought his green catnip mouse to her to play fetch. Lindsey threw the toy across the room and Scooter vaulted off the bed after it, proudly returning with his catch for his human to throw again. This went on for almost ten minutes before Scooter failed to return to the bed.

Sighing heavily, she started to take off her loafers. "Why did you do this to me, Bruce? Lord, I'm so confused. Why did I kiss Mickey? Lindsey, you're a fool. Bruce was wrong; I'm not in love with Steve..."

She thought back to the kiss and suddenly gasped as she remembered what he said to her afterward.

" _So, why didn't it feel this good six years ago?"_

Her heart leapt as she felt the happiness flood her. "The first time we kissed like that six years ago, it made us both uncomfortable. But this time was different. He  _liked_  it. And I think I did, too." She slipped her shoes back on, grabbed her purse and headed for the door. "Scooter, don't wait up for me. I'm going to get to the bottom of this if it kills us."

-oOo-

Lindsey was on the back canyon road about ten minutes from Kathy's place when she ran into some traffic. There was a brush fire on the side of the road and she saw several people standing at the edge of the grass. She pulled over and grabbed her emergency kit from the trunk and approached a man standing at the edge of the small group watching the fire.

"I'm a nurse. Does anyone need assistance?"

He shook his head. "I don't think so ma'am. The fire department should be here any second and no one was in the car before it caught on fire. I checked myself."

"Car? What car?" She walked around a few people to face the fire and saw a silver Corolla that had apparently had a head on collision with one of the larger trees, the front end now engulfed in flames. Her heart was in her throat as she looked at the license plate and realized whose car it was.

Ponch and Jon pulled up followed by Bear and Grossie. As Ponch started to get out he turned to his partner. "Call it in Jon. I'll see if they need any help. And no heroics from you either. You're still healing."

Jon sighed. "Yes sir, Dr. Poncherello."

Ponch approached the group and suddenly heard Lindsey scream.

"Oh my God. Steve!"

She ran toward the burning car and Ponch raced after her. "Lindsey, stop!" He grabbed her around the waist and picked her up.

She fought him wildly, screaming and crying. "That's Steve's car. He might be trapped in there. Let me go Ponch, let me go!"

Barry came running over followed more slowly by Jon, and Grossie with his crutch.

"Ponch, what's wrong?" Barry looked at the car, then the struggling woman in his friends grasp.

As Ponch turned to look at them Lindsey wrenched herself free from his grip and ran back towards the car.

"I have to find Steve. That's his car!"

"Lindsey!"

Bear chased her this time and tried to grab her arm, causing her to lose her balance. She hit the ground hard, knocking the wind out of her. Bear quickly picked her up and carried her to the side of the road, away from the burning vehicle. She started fighting him and he stood her up, pinning her arms between their bodies and held her tightly.

"Go see if you can find him," he said to the others. "I've got her."

The sound of sirens filled the air as Barry tried to calm the hysterical woman down.

"Lindsey, stop it! Look at me. It's gonna be okay."

"I have to find Steve. Let me go!" The harder she struggled, the tighter Bear held her until she could hardly breathe. "Bear, please. Oh my God, Mickey…" Her knees buckled and she clung to him, sobbing uncontrollably.

He loosened his hold on her slightly and she slid her arms around his waist. Bear placed his right hand on the side of her head and spoke soothingly to her as she cried. Laying his head on top of hers, he watched as the others looked for the missing officer.

Ponch had grabbed the fire extinguisher from the back of his car and was attempting to put out the fire around the hood of Steve's car while Jon and Grossie searched the surrounding area. The fire department pulled up and within minutes had the fire out. Ponch connected with the fire captain and they helped search for the missing driver.

-oOo-

The pain was intense and cut through the fog in his brain, bringing him to full alertness. Steve tried to take a deep breath but couldn't with the gag in his mouth. Trying not to vomit, he attempted to roll to his knees but realized he was bound hand and foot and when he moved, the pain intensified. He groaned and tried to reposition himself to lessen the pain when a light was suddenly thrust in his face, momentarily blinding him.

"So, you finally came to, huh McLeish? Good. 'Cuz it's always more fun to hurt people when they're awake."

Craig roughly removed the gag and his captive gulped the air greedily. The light moved to the side of the bed he was lying on and Steve squinted to focus on the man standing before him. "C-Craig? What happened? Help me..."

"Help you?" Came the scornful reply. " _Help you_? You mean like this?" He thrust the handle end of a baseball bat into Steve's midsection, causing him to gasp and retch. "Damn it McLeish. Those were clean sheets."

He grabbed a towel and casually wiped the mess from the sheets as Steve fought to stay conscious. Craig smiled, "Aw, poor baby. Did you get injured when you hit that tree? Good! It just makes my job that much easier. But more of that later. Right now, we need to keep moving."

He walked back to the driver's seat and started the van. Craig gunned the engine and roughly pulled out onto the highway. He had to put as many miles between them and the accident scene as possible before he could finish this.


	8. What Makes an Officer?

Barry sat on the curb holding Lindsey while the others searched for clues to Steve's whereabouts. Turner, Nelson and Cahill had shown up right after the fire department and were quickly filled in on the situation. A few minutes later, Sgt. Maddux pulled up with Lt. Michelson. She called them all over, including Bear and Lindsey.

"Craig attacked the officer assigned to protect Officer McLeish." The pronouncement was met with gasps and murmmers and the sergeant held up her hand. "Don't worry, he's going to be okay. But I'm not so sure about your friend." She looked over at Lt. Michelson who nodded sadly and stepped forward.

"There was another letter in the squad car with Officer Walters. I won't go into detail, but apparently Craig has been planning this for over a week and," he looked over at Lindsey dreading his next statement. "And he said that we should probably start making arrangements for Steve's funeral."

Barry tightened his grip on Lindsey as he felt her sag into him. Ponch swore profusely in Spanish while Jon walked away from the group, his head down in defeat. Sindy put her hands to her face in shock, unwilling to comprehend what she just heard. Turner placed a consoling hand on her shoulder and Grossie just stood there shaking his head.

Bruce had been standing near Lindsey and went to her side to offer support. She turned from Barry and looked at him with red-rimmed eyes. "Oh God Bruce, I can't lose him now." He took her in his arms as a new wave of grief wracked her body.

As they were dealing with the news, a young man in his early twenties dressed in dirty, tattered jeans and a wife beater tee-shirt under a denim jacket approached the group cautiously. Barry saw him first.

"Can I help you?"

"Are you a cop?"

"What does it matter if I'm a cop or not?" Bear asked.

He shifted his feet nervously. "Because it matters, okay?"

Jon turned back toward the group and looked at the young man. "We're all officers who right now have no tolerance for punks who want to play games." His eyes glared menacingly as he moved nearer.

"Baker, back off. That's an order," Michelson said in a steely voice. "Do you have something to tell us, son?"

"The name's David, and yeah, I might." The bravado in his voice wasn't quite enough to hide his fear.

Sue stepped forward, "Well, David, I'm Sgt. Maddux with the LAPD. What did you need to talk to me about?"

David looked her up and down before responding. "A lady sergeant? Nice. I heard some people talking about the missing driver, but he's not missing. His buddy took him to the hospital."

Before anyone there had a chance to reply the sergeant held up her hand and walked nearer to David. "You saw what happened?"

"Yeah. I was walking on the shoulder when I heard some cars comin'. I stepped into the brush over there and saw this green VW van run the Corolla off the road and into the trees. The guy musta been going about forty or fifty before he hit the tree. Anyway, this dude jumps outta the van, checks out the damage to the car, then sees there's a fire. He grabs the driver of the car and carries him back to the van. That's when he saw me."

Jon was now standing next to the young man and looked down on him. "Why did you wait so long to tell anyone this, huh? We coulda had him by now!" He grabbed David by the jacket and started to shake him. "Do you realize that McLeish may already be dead?"

Ponch ran over and separated the two men. "Hey, hey easy, Baker! Jon, back off. Let him finish his story, okay?"

Jon stormed back to the group while Ponch apologized. "Sorry about that, but you need to realize something. That guy wasn't trying to help him, man. He was trying to kill him. So how about you tell us everything you know, huh?"

"I-I didn't know man, honest! Damn, no wonder the guy was so jumpy. Look, all I know is when he sees me, he says to me, 'Hey, my buddy here is pretty banged up. I'm gonna take him straight to the hospital.' He's got this wild kinda look in his eye, like somethin' ain't right. I told him I'd call for an ambulance or the fire department, but he got all agitated. Then he pulls a gun on me and says, 'You didn't see any of this, you got it?' I started backing up and told him I didn't want no trouble. Then he laughed and drove away. That's it man, I swear."

Sgt. Maddux took out her notepad and a pen. "Did you happen to see the license plate, David? That would help us out a lot."

"I don't think it had any plates, ma'am." He rubbed a hand over his face. "But it was a beat up looking thing, and a god-awful shade of green. I don't think it would be too difficult to find."

-oOo-

After driving around for over an hour, Craig finally pulled the van into the parking garage of the Westminster Mall and up to the top level. He parked next to one of the generators scattered across the structure and got out of the van to stretch his legs. The mall had just closed so he knew no one would wonder about the van being there for an hour or so. And being in Orange County, he felt a bit safer, too. They'd search LA County first before moving south, and that suited him just fine.

As he wandered around the empty parking places, his mind wandered over the events of the evening and he smiled maliciously. Officer Walters had been surprisingly easy to take care of. Of course getting a baseball bat to the back of the head wasn't exactly playing fair, either. But Craig didn't mind, especially when his target was so close to being caught.

And slicing the fluid lines in McLeish's car had been a cinch too. The only thing that worried him was if the car would make it into the canyon before the brakes gave out. But when Steve came out of the condo and drove off in anger, he knew running him off the road would be a piece of cake. "Angry drivers are so easy to deal with," he said as he patted the side of the van.

Then there was the fire. He couldn't believe there actually was a spark that ignited the fluids around the car. He didn't even have to use his lighter! And then there was the kid who was hiding in the bushes.

"Never knew what hit him, did he?" Craig caressed his service revolver with a smile. "Blew him away like Dirty Harry. At least I think I did." His reverie was cut short by a pain filled cry from within the van. "Oh shut up ya big baby," he said as he slid open the side door.

Steve was curled up in the fetal position on the bed, his arms and legs still bound. He was deathly pale and covered in sweat, his breathing labored.

"What do you want now, McLeish?"

His captive was trembling and turned toward the sound of his voice. "Craig, please… ahh!"

Uncaring laughter rang thru the van. "It hurts a lot, doesn't it cop? I think your injuries'll kill ya better than I could. This is fun to watch."

He climbed up onto the bed and paused as he glared down at the trembling form before him. He took out his utility knife and opened it, staring at the sharpened blade, then reached for Steve's left arm.

"God, no… please… Craig…" he said between ragged breaths.

Instead of stabbing pain, Steve felt the rope fall away from his arms. Tears clouded his vision as gentle hands brought his left arm around to the front of his body and then his legs were freed as well.

"Shh, I'm going to help you."

He was carefully rolled onto his back and cried out in pain as his legs were moved. "Please let me go. I c-can't…"

"I can't let you go, but I promise to try and help you. I didn't let him shoot the kid, but he thinks he did." The voice was frightened but calm. "I'm sorry I let this happen. It was never supposed to be like this. Oh God, he's coming."

Steve felt the grip on his legs tighten. Without warning a fist came down on his right thigh and the pain was swallowed instantly by blessed darkness.

"What the hell did I untie him for? Oh well, it'll make life more interesting when he wakes up again. Ah, revenge. It is who I am and what I do."

-oOo-

Bruce drove Lindsey home in her car, followed by Jon and Ponch while Bear, Sindy, Turner and Grossman went to Kathy's to fill in the others there on the situation. They were all shaken by the attack on the LAPD officer and Steve's kidnapping, and no one wanted to be alone tonight.

As they pulled up to Lindsey's condo, they could see police activity about half a block down the street. They got out of their cars and Lindsey looked down the street.

"That must have been where Craig attacked the LAPD officer." Her voice was flat and barely registered emotion.

Bruce looked at the others and back to Lindsey. Sgt. Maddux hadn't told them where the officer was attacked, but they all knew he was watching McLeish. "Steve was here? Tonight? When, Lindsey?"

"About seven, I guess. I was about to leave for Kathy's when he showed up. Please take me inside."

Jon walked over to Bruce and spoke quietly. "Go ahead and take her in. Ponch and I will see what we can find out from LAPD and fill them in on what we know about the accident."

Taking the keys from her, Bruce led the way to her condo. Once inside, Lindsey stood in the small entryway, tears spilling down her face. "Oh God, Bruce, I'm so scared."

She reached for him, wrapping her arms around his neck as she cried harder than ever. Bruce managed to get her over to the couch and held her. He had no words of comfort, nothing to say that could ease her pain or his. He kept reminding himself that they were just friends now, but that didn't change how he still felt about her. His only desire was to chase her pain away but he knew he was part of the problem too. Frustrated at his feelings of impotence, he finally allowed himself to cry as well.

Jon and Ponch came back about twenty minutes later. Lindsey had fallen asleep in Bruce's arms, but woke up when she heard the knock on the door. Bruce let them in.

"So, what did you find out?"

Ponch looked grim. "The bastard attacked the officer with a baseball bat. The guy's lucky to be alive. These officers also didn't know about the accident, so we filled them in and decided to search the area to see if we could find where Steve had parked." He paused and took a breath to steady his rising temper. "It looks like Craig may have cut the break line on Steve's Corolla."

Jon had walked over to the couch and sat beside Lindsey. He put his arm around her, "You gonna be okay Linds?"

Scooter jumped onto the couch next to Jon and demanded to be loved. He head-butted his arm until Jon finally rubbed him under his chin. Lindsey smiled. "He only does that to me and Steve. Consider yourself lucky."

"I think I shall," he said with a chuckle.

There was a moment of uncomfortable silence after that. Jon continued to love on the cat while Bruce and Ponch stood in the living room waiting for someone to say something. Lindsey finally broke the silence.

"I kissed him."

Bruce was the first recover from his surprise. "What?"

She looked up sadly at him. "I kissed Steve. I think you were right, Bruce. About everything. He came over tonight to talk about us and I kissed him and he ran off because I think he got scared and now we'll never have a chance to know if it would have worked…"

The words came in a rush and she leaned against Jon, crying once more. Ponch looked at Bruce in confusion. "But I thought the two of you were going out?"

He shook his head as he walked over to the couch. "I'll explain later," he said quietly. Bruce sat down next to Lindsey and held her hand. "Linds, don't do this to yourself."

"He proposed to me, did you know that?" The three of them looked at her in shock as she continued. "When you were in the hospital, Bruce. I told him we were interested in seeing each other and I accused him of trying to keep me single so I'd have to marry him. And do you know what he did? Right in the middle of dinner he drops to one knee and proposes to me, in front of the whole restaurant. He said, 'Nobody's good enough for you but me.' And I thought he might be kidding, but there was something in his voice that said he was serious somehow."

Scooter had walked across Jon's lap over to his mistress and she gathered him in her arms. He purred loudly as she rubbed his ears. Bruce glanced at the others as he spoke to Lindsey.

"Why don't we talk about this later, okay?"

She looked over at Ponch. "What do you think, Ponch? Do you think Steve is in love with me or am I just a consolation prize if he can't find someone better to spend his life with?"

Ponch motioned for Jon to move and they traded places. Jon sat in the recliner next to the couch and hoped his partner would have something wise to say.

"Lindsey, mija, look at me."

"I'm not a little girl."

The others smiled and Ponch took her hand. Scooter glared at him and jumped down from her lap and up into Jon's.

"Looks like you've got a friend, Baker." Bruce said with a smile.

"Mija. You are not a consolation prize. I should know, because Nelson here only goes after the best. He learned that from me." Bruce rolled his eyes and Lindsey cracked a small smile. Ponch lifted her face to look at him. "Bruce isn't the only person who thinks you and Steve belong together, Lindsey. Do you know why he's broken up with every other woman he's dated?"

She shook her head.

"They aren't  _you_. He compares every single woman he dates to you. And that's the God's honest truth."

Lindsey glanced over at Jon who nodded. "It's true. He says things like: 'She doesn't have Lindsey's sense of humor,' or 'Lindsey would have tried that.' "

"And God forbid someone else shows interest in you," Bruce said playfully. "I'm lucky you made him promise to behave himself or I'd probably be working in San Diego right now."

She laughed through her tears and wiped her eyes. "If I'm so wonderful, then what is he afraid of?"

Ponch squeezed her hand. "You'll have to ask him when we find him."

They talked for another half an hour or so until Lindsey finally decided to go to sleep.

"You're all welcome to stay if you want. The couch is comfortable and the bed in the guest room is too. Oh, wait, there's three of you."

Jon laughed. "Bruce can stay, but I think Ponch and I'll head out. If he doesn't get to sleep in his own bed he gets cranky, and I can't deal with that."

"Look who's talking,  _partner_!"

They said their goodbyes and Bruce locked the door behind them. He turned around to find Lindsey looking at him with a sad smile and she sighed.

"They didn't make this easy on us, did they?"

Bruce walked over to her and took her hand. He wanted to kiss her, to hold her and comfort her. Instead he gave her hand a gentle squeeze and brushed a stray hair from her cheek.

"No, they didn't." He bent down slightly and kissed her cheek. "Goodnight, Lindsey."

She watched wistfully as he went into the guest bedroom and closed the door.

As they walked out to the car, Ponch glanced up the street to where the officer was attacked and then back to where they felt Steve's car had been sabotaged.

"It doesn't make any sense, Jon. Craig wasn't the greatest cop in the world, but he wasn't a bad guy, either. What the hell happened to make him flip out like this?"

"I dunno Ponch. But I just pray to God we find them before it's too late. For all our sakes."

They got into the car and Ponch put the key in the ignition, but didn't turn it on. He looked over at Jon for a moment. "Hey, Jon. I was wondering if, you know, if you might like-"

Jon smiled gratefully. "Yes."

"Yes?"

"Yes, Ponch. You can stay at my place tonight."

-oOo-

After receiving the call about Steve from Lt. Michelson last night, Joe was sick with fear and couldn't sleep. Betty tried to help him relax.

"Joe, you need to try and get some rest. You won't do anyone any good if you collapse from exhaustion."

He lay in bed for a few hours trying to sleep but his mind was spinning, trying to figure out where Craig might have taken Steve. When the phone rang at three am, he knew his day had officially begun.

"Joe, its Carol. Will hasn't been home since we got the call about Craig and I'm so worried about them both…"

Joe got to the station around five am and went straight to his office. Just as he'd hoped, there was the captain going over the LAPD reports from the night before.

Will looked up at Joe with red eyes. "I don't know what to do, Joe. I am a captain and a father, and right now being both is killing me. I have to find McLeish before it's too late. I have to find my son before he injures or kills someone else. The officers of this station don't know whether to look up to me or hate me, and I don't know what to do anymore. My God, Joe. What has become of my son?"

"Go home, Will," the sergeant said with authority and kindness. "Your wife called me in a panic when she woke up at three am and you still weren't home. She needs you, Will, and you need her. Go home to Carol. I will call you the moment I know  _anything_ , I swear it."

The captain nodded and stood up slowly, grabbed his sports coat from the back of the chair and walked over to his friend. He extended his hand to shake and Joe took it, pulling him into a warm embrace. The two friends stayed that way for a moment and then separated.

"We  _will_  find them captain. Both of them." Joe wiped his eyes and cleared his throat. "Now get out before I drag you out."

"Yes sir, sergeant."

Joe watched him leave and sighed as he walked back to his desk.  _I can't imagine what he's going through right now. God help us if anything happens to Craig or Steve…_

He worked for the next two hours and still had not come up with any new leads or information. Standing to stretch the kinks out of his back, Joe heard the familiar voices of his officers arriving for the day. Instead of the usual banter and high spirits, they were subdued and quiet which bothered him greatly.

Walking out of his office to greet them, he was surprised to see several officers that he knew were off duty that day, many of them already in full uniform. Among them was Jon Baker, who had been cleared for desk duty but nothing more. But judging from his body language, he was riding today.

Joe sighed. Trying to send them home or keeping Jon at the station would be pointless, and he was proud of their dedication and willingness to help find Steve. He could also tell which officers had been at the scene last night by the look in their eyes; and not just from lack of sleep. They had a haunted but determined look about them, and Joe knew they would not rest until Steve McLeish was found.

Before he could address them, his phone rang. Stepping back into his office he picked up the phone. "Getraer. What? Are you sure? … Don't let them do anything that would jeopardize… He's a cop, commander. He knows what to look for. … Yes, we'll get right on it. Thank you sir."

Sgt. Getraer stepped back out into the hallway. "Hit the Briefing Room now, people. We have reason to believe Craig's been sighted in Newport Beach."

-oOo-

"Oh, what a beautiful morning. Oh, what a beautiful day! I've got a wonderful feeling everything's going my way."

Craig looked out over the water and smiled. If the way he looked now was any indication, McLeish would probably be dead within the next few hours and he could dump the body someplace where it was sure to be found. And then he would go after Cahill.

"Oh the plans I have for you, my love."

He had told Steve late last night exactly what he intended to do to Sindy, taking great pleasure in his captive's helplessness.

"Pity you won't be here to protect her, McLeish. But such is life. Now, let's see how your internal injuries are doing."

He pressed firmly on Steve's stomach and chest, delighted at causing pain. "You never should have tackled me, Stevie-boy. Payback's a bitch!"

Focusing on the present once more, Craig walked back over to the van and climbed inside. He had picked up some fruit and snacks at a convenience store early that morning and picked up a banana. As he slowly peeled it and took a bite, he listened to the sound of the waves crashing into shore and the shallow, labored breathing of the officer before him. Putting down the fruit, he grabbed a wash cloth and sat down on the bed. Meek concentrated very hard, making sure he was safe, then began to gingerly wipe Steve's face and felt for a pulse.

"It will all be over soon, Steve," he said softly. "One way or another, it will all be over soon."

He felt the anger returning and stood up quickly as Revenge took over once more. Speaking aloud he asked, "What were you doing, Meek?"

Retreating deep inside his mind, Meek replied.  _I wiped his face and checked his pulse. He's not going to last much longer._

"Good. I'm tired of waiting for him to die. I want to move on to Sindy. I can't wait to feel-"

_We could trade. Give them McLeish for Cahill._ Meek knew he was taking a huge risk, but what other choice did he have?

"I am called Revenge for a reason, Meek. Why would I give them McLeish before he's dead? Tell me that."

_So you can watch them suffer. You like to watch people suffer. Sindy will do whatever it takes to save McLeish because she's a cop and it's all about honor and doing the right thing. Dad, Getraer and Michelson will try and prevent her from doing it, but she will come anyway. And then you can have your way with her._

"That's a very interesting thought, Meek. But how do we keep from being caught? Or are you trying to get us killed?"

Panic flooded every inch of his body.  _No! I, I just want you to be happy. You don't hurt me when you're happy._  Craig nodded as the internal voice continued.  _Getraer won't want to jeopardize any more lives but Sindy will think it an acceptable risk to take. They won't be able to protect her and they'll know for sure that Steve's life is in danger. It_ will _work, especially if you bring Lindsey into the picture._

"Lindsey? Oh, his nurse friend. Why do we need her?"

_Tell them you'll only give McLeish to her. Remember, he tackled us that day because she was yelling at us. So you might even say it's her fault, in a way. Don't you want to watch the nurse as she tries to save his life, knowing it's too late? And, what better revenge on the CHP than to make them watch Cahill give herself willingly to save Steve, who is already as good as dead? Her sacrifice means nothing, which makes things that much sweeter for you. Isn't that what revenge is all about?_ He hated saying that to Revenge, but it was the only way…

"Let me think about this for a minute. That might be fun."

He climbed out of the van and looked out over the water. The biggest problem he saw was that the entire freaking CHP would descend upon them and he would most likely be caught. That wouldn't do at all.

"But we are talking about women and their emotions. Lindsey will come because she wants to save his life. And Cahill will comply for the same reason. I'll get the captain to promise no one will follow us. But can I trust him?"

Craig paced the area for a few minutes and finally came to a decision. "You're starting to think like me, Meek. I'm proud of you. We'll do it, but we have to be extremely careful. We have to be sure we won't get caught."

-oOo-

The phone rang in the middle of briefing and Joe answered. "Briefing room."

The officers whispered among themselves, shifting papers or tapping pens on the table top. The sergeant was silent as the person spoke to him, but he glanced at Sindy and suddenly lost all color in his face. She shifted uncomfortably in her seat and watched him closely. His breathing became more rapid and he finally slammed his hand down on the podium.

"No, damn it! I will not negotiate-"

All eyes were on him now. He suddenly gripped the phone hard, his knuckles white, and then he gasped and grabbed the podium for support.

"Steve! Are you—wait! What have you done to him?"

A feeling of sick fear pervaded the room as they tried to imagine what was being said on the other end of the phone. Tension was high and more than one person stood up rather than sit until the call was over. Lt. Michelson walked in quickly and stood beside the sergeant, handing him a note. Joe glanced at it and nodded.

"You can't possibly expect me to allow this, Craig. I will not endanger the life of another officer for your pleasure." He glanced at Sindy again and she instantly understood what was happening.

Her heart was racing in fear as she stood up from her seat and stepped forward. Joe covered the mouthpiece of the phone and shook his head.

"No, Cahill. It's not an option."

"I can take care of myself, Sarge. Tell him I'll take Steve's place."

-oOo-

Lindsey awoke from a restless sleep as the phone rang. She grabbed the receiver and tried to sound awake. "Hello?"

"Lindsey… h-help me…"

"Mickey?" She was instantly alert and clutched the phone. "My God Steve, where are you? Talk to me please!"

Another voice spoke, dark and menacing. "He's done all the talking he's going to do, my dear. He's having enough trouble trying to breathe, so I don't think chatting with his lady friend is high on his list right now."

Her frantic cry brought Bruce in at a run. He sat beside her on the bed, taking her hand for support. She started to shake as she listened to the person on the other end.

"What do you want me to do? Pirate's Cove in Newport Beach?"

Squeezing her hand, Bruce whispered, "I know where that is."

"I know where it is, yes." As she listened her eyes filled with tears and her voice cracked when she finally responded. "I'm not going to be able to move him by myself… okay. I understand. Please don't hurt him Craig."

She gasped and looked at the receiver, then looked at Bruce, her voice quivering. "He's going to trade Steve for Sindy, but only if I'm there to mediate the exchange. Oh God Bruce, what am I going to do? Steve sounded like he was dying."

He held her while she cried and tried to map out the fastest route into Newport during morning rush hour. He knew what his only option was and his still tender ribs would take a beating, but he would endure it for Steve's sake.

"Linds, look at me. Get dressed. Wear jeans and boots if you have them. Do you have a leather jacket?"

"This isn't a freaking fashion show, Bruce. Steve may very well be dead before we arrive!"

"Not if we take my motorcycle."

Lindsey looked at him in confusion and he put his hand on her face. "Newport is a good hour and a half away with no traffic. It's the height of morning rush hour. The fastest way to get there is on my bike. And I want you to be protected; it's a long ride."

"But Bruce, your ribs haven't healed yet."

"If McLeish is as bad off as you think he is, I'll suffer a setback to make sure he lives through this. Now, go get dressed so we can pick up my bike and get down there."


	9. Sacrifice

Craig had laid down the rules of the game and swore Steve would die if his directions were not followed to the letter. Newport Beach PD had been alerted and they closed the beach, carefully avoiding the area where the green VW van was parked above the beach on the cliffs. They also closed the residential streets to through traffic as an extra precaution.

Bonnie and Kathy drove Sindy down to Newport in Bonnie's cruiser, and the two of them tried in vain to make her change her mind.

"Steve would do the same for me, or any one of us. I'd be lying if I said I'm not scared, but I'm going to do whatever I can to stay safe. I promise."

At about nine o'clock in the morning, a black and red Honda Interceptor pulled up to the road block leading to the cove. The driver removed his helmet and held out his badge to the officer guarding the entrance. After a brief exchange, Bruce rode through the quiet residential street and parked at the end of the block. He and Lindsey dismounted and Bruce bent over leaning heavily on the bike, holding his side. Lindsey offered assistance but he shook her off.

"No matter how bad I feel Steve has it worse. I'm fine."

The day was clear, but a cold, biting wind stung their faces, pulling at their hair and clothes. They looked around and saw the sun reflecting off the water just over the edge of the rocky cliff across the street. A bit further down the street at the side of the road was a green VW van. Lindsey's heart was in her throat and she started toward the van but Bruce grabbed her arm.

"No. Not yet. We have to-"

"What the hell are you two doing here?" Lt. Michelson suddenly appeared and motioned for them to follow him to his car. Sgt. Getraer and Capt. Anderson were standing behind the vehicle and looked concerned.

Lindsey looked at the officers. "Craig called me and said he would let me take Steve-"

"Damn it!" Getraer punched the trunk and started to pace. "No. I'm not giving him another pawn."

"He said he won't release him to anyone but me, Sergeant. I have to go out there. I won't let you stop me, either."

"You won't let me stop you," the sergeant repeated angrily. "This isn't your ER, Ms. Buchanan. If you think that I'm going to let you-"

"Bruce drove us down here on his motorcycle so we could get here faster," she argued. "And need I remind you his broken ribs are still healing?" Lindsey stood as tall as she could and held Getraer's gaze. "We are all making sacrifices and taking risks, sergeant. You have to let me do this."

"She's got a point, Joe," Anderson said.

Before he could reply, Bonnie's cruiser pulled up. She parked in the street and the passenger door slowly opened. The four officers instinctively crouched behind the Lieutenant's car, hands on weapons and Bruce pulled Lindsey down beside him.

Sindy emerged from the squad car, still in uniform but sans utility belt and weapons. She faced the van and called out, "I'm here Craig."

The wind whipped through her hair as she waited for a reply. Kathy and Bonnie had exited the vehicle from the driver's side and were now crouched behind it, weapons drawn.

There were many officers scattered around the area shielded by squad cars or motorcycles, and they watched Sindy closely, ready to protect her with their own lives if necessary. Turner, Ponch and Jon were closest to the van, with Baricza and Grossman behind them.

Lindsey tried to get up but Bruce and the lieutenant both put a hand on her shoulders, and Michelson shook his head. "We wait for him to ask for you."

She bit her lower lip, her heart ready to beat out of her chest. She clutched Bruce's arm and watched as Sindy called out once more.

"Craig?"

The side door slid open and Craig cautiously stepped out of the van, gun drawn. He glanced around and nodded, apparently happy with what he saw. "Nice to see you again, Cahill. Step away from the squad car and let me look at you."

Sindy started walking toward the van, trying not to let her fear show. She would give her life for Steve or any officer, but knowing what Craig had done to the others terrified her. She was about thirty yards from the van when Craig held up his hand.

"Stop right there. Where's Lindsey?"

Fighting the overwhelming urge to run and a fear like she had never known, Lindsey slowly stood up.

"Come up on the sidewalk over here. And please hurry."

His tone was kind and had a nervous urgency to it. Jon looked back at Ponch who shrugged his shoulders in response. None of this made any sense, and it was unnerving.

Lindsey glanced at the officers around her and closed her eyes, taking a deep breath to try and calm down.

The captain looked up at her. "We have paramedics waiting around the corner, and we have a chopper that can be here in three minutes if he needs it. Good luck."

She trotted across the street and stepped up onto the sidewalk, passing where Jon and Ponch were. They both nodded to her in encouragement, and she smiled nervously as she continued quickly toward the van.

She was about twenty feet away when the cold command sounded.

"Stop." Craig turned to face Sindy. "C'mere beautiful," he said with a leer. "I need some insurance." She walked closer to him, then stopped about three feet away. He reached out and grabbed her by the arm, then turned her around to face the others. He put one arm around her waist and held the gun to her back. Then he spoke to Lindsey. "He's in the van."

She hesitated only a moment and then ran to the van and climbed inside. What she saw nearly stopped her heart. Steve was lying on his right side, arms drawn up to his chest, his breathing rapid and shallow, and his face was grey. His hair was damp with sweat and stuck to his face, his eyes unfocused and glassy.

Lindsey knew she only had a short time and immersed herself in the role of ER nurse. She climbed onto the mattress and ran her practiced hands quickly and gently over his torso, feeling for specific injuries. He gasped when she came to his stomach and he started coughing up blood. Fighting tears and the rising panic for her friend's life, she spoke softly to him.

"It's going to be all right, Steve. I'm going to get you out of here."

He looked up at her and a flicker of recognition crossed his face. "Li-Lind..."

"Shhh. Don't talk."

"N-note..."

"Mickey, shhh. I'm going to..." she trailed off as she realized there was a folded piece of paper above his head. She grabbed the paper and unfolded it, scanning its contents.

"Time's up, Lindsey," Craig called out to her. "You need to come out now."

She glanced through the note once more, then kissed Steve on the forehead. "I will be right back. I promise."

The officers watched as she climbed back out of the van, visibly shaken. She walked over to Craig and spoke to him, but not loud enough for them to hear. Whatever she said pleased him and he laughed. Sindy closed her eyes, fighting back tears as Craig pulled her closer to him.

"What the hell is going on over there?" Sgt. Getraer gripped his weapon tightly in frustration, which quickly turned to confusion as he watched what happened next.

Craig's whole demeanor changed as he loosened his hold on Sindy and whispered something in her ear. Her look of utter shock and confusion could not be missed and she looked over at Lindsey who nodded slightly. Getraer could tell even from this distance that Lindsey was uncomfortable with whatever was happening by the way she held her arms to her chest and shifted her weight from foot to foot. They had to end this, but how?

Jon's voice came through the radio, speaking his sergeant's own concerns. "What do you want us to do, lieutenant? Ponch and I can sneak around-"

"Negative Baker. We wait, just like we promised to."

Just then Lindsey turned around. "Get the paramedics in here now," she called out loudly. "Just them and a gurney, nothing more. Tell them to have the chopper ready to meet them. Hurry!"

Joe was on the radio in an instant. "Rescue four, this is Sgt. Getraer. Get in here with a gurney only, repeat gurney only. And call the chopper. You're gonna need to fly him out."

"Roger that sergeant."

Captain Anderson stood up and called out, "They're on their way, Lindsey."

A look of admiration, and then utter contempt crossed Craig's face when he saw his father. He placed the gun to Sindy's head and cocked it.

"You'd better not do anything stupid, dad. I really don't want to have to blow this beauty away."

The sudden change in attitude unnerved both women, and Lindsey stood rooted to the spot, afraid to move. She watched as the paramedics came into view and then quickly glanced over at Craig. Using Sindy to block the officers' view of him, he leaned behind her and nodded to Lindsey, smiling sadly.

"Good luck," he said softly.

He then shook his head and moved the gun from Sindy's head to under her jaw. "You'd better hope he survives, or your sacrifice will have meant nothing. And I'll still have my way with you, regardless. Ain't life grand?"

"My sacrifice means everything and you can't take that away from me," she responded coldly.

Craig quickly spun her around to face him, keeping the gun at her neck. "I wouldn't dream of it, pretty lady," he said seductively as he let the gun trace the side of her face.

His sadistic smile was suddenly replaced by a fearful look and panic filled eyes; his voice now soft and urgent. "Promise me that you'll run when I tell you to and don't look back."

She blinked in shock and stammered trying to respond, but couldn't speak.

"Promise me, please Sindy. I don't want him to hurt you. He'll come after me, not you. Run when I tell you to. Promise me!"

"I-I, I promise."

He smiled and the lust filled eyes bore into hers once more. "Lovely, lovely Sindy. You will be screaming my name before this day is through." He spun her back around and shouted to the officers, "Remember ladies and gentlemen, once we have made our trade, no one follows us or she dies instantly."

The paramedics were now at the van and Lindsey quickly climbed inside. One of them followed her in and she quickly showed him the note and told him what they needed to do as he assessed Steve.

"You want me to do what?"

"Shh. Just go with it, please!"

"You can't be serious."

"Look. I'm an ER nurse at Cedar's, and I've seen it all. And I've seen Craig in action before. We have to trust this. Please play along!"

"Play along? He's going to die if we don't get him out of here anyways. How is this going to help him?"

"Just do it, okay? If that guy out there thinks there's even a small chance that Steve will survive then his hostage is as good as dead. He has to think Steve is dying now."

The pain and fear in her voice were too much and Wallach rubbed his eyes with his forefinger and thumb. "Okay."

She started to shake and he took her hand. "And no matter what you see or hear," she laid her hand on Steve's side, "he is your only priority. Get him out of here ASAP."

He nodded and she steadied her breathing. She looked out the door to Sindy and then back to Steve. Wallach squeezed her hand.

"I'm ready when you are."

She held his hand tightly and then shouted. "Steve, no!"

"Patton I need you. He stopped breathing!"

"Hold your positions!" Getraer shouted as several officers stood as if to rush the van.

Patton jumped into the van as Wallach started shouting out a breath count. Sindy leaned back against Craig, utterly defeated, while he started to laugh.

"Too bad for poor McLeish. I guess he wasn't as strong a fighter as you would have hoped."

Every officer was on their feet, guns pointing at Craig and Sindy as they watched the paramedics load Steve onto the gurney.

Craig watched them with gloating satisfaction. He had gotten his way. Steve was as good as dead and Sindy was his for the taking. Looking at all the officers before him, he glanced over at his father with a wicked smile. "All for you, dad. I did it all for you."

The moment he said it, his vision began to spin wildly. He shook his head to clear it, and a new look of resolve could be seen in his eyes. It was now or never. Looking directly at his father he started to speak in a loud voice.

"I promise to fulfill my oath as a soldier of the law; to uphold the honor and integrity of the California Highway Patrol; to be loyal to my fellow officers."

The others looked on in shock. It was a slap in the face to hear the Code of Honor recited by someone who had no regard for any of it. But there something in the way he spoke the words that held their attention.

Will Anderson felt a stab of pain-filled pride in his heart as he remembered administering the CHP Code of Honor to his son and the other cadets all those years ago. He saw a young cadet, bright eyes shining with pride as he pinned the shiny badge to his chest, his future before him. At that moment, he realized the man standing before him had that same look now. Pride for the badge and the job he loved. What are you doing, Craig?

Craig felt a wave of anger wash over him but his resolve was firm. Not this time, Revenge.

"I will never again knowingly commit any act that will in any way bring discredit upon the California Highway Patrol or any member thereof." He removed the gun from Sindy's neck and held it loosely at his side.

Lindsey came out of the van as the paramedics strapped Steve down and started to rush him to the ambulance. Something in Craig's tone made her stop short and she glanced down at the note in her hands. She read the last line once more and suddenly realized exactly what it meant.

"Oh my God, Craig please don't…" she whispered fearfully.

Craig's face contorted with anger for a moment but then was serene once more. Now he was shouting, "I will assist those in peril or distress."

Sindy suddenly felt him release his hold on her. "Run!" He gave her a shove and she ran toward Bonnie's cruiser as fast as she could.

"And I shall lay down my life rather than swerve from the path of duty!"

Craig started to run toward the rocky cliff and the captain followed him. "Craig, stop! That's an order."

None of the officers moved until Craig turned around and leveled the gun at their captain.

Lindsey shouted at the officers, "Don't shoot! Don't shoot," and started running after the father and son. "Craig, please, you don't have to do this!"

Jon, Ponch and Bear ran after Lindsey, shouting at her to get out of the way as she ran out onto the rocks. Craig shouted something at the captain, then started to point the gun at his own head. His father lunged for the gun, knocking the two of them onto the rock-strewn cliff. A moment later there was a gunshot, and Lindsey screamed.

"Call an ambulance!"

Jon ran back to his bike while Bear and Ponch went to assist Lindsey. Bonnie, Kathy and Turner ran up a moment later and stopped short at the sight before them. Ponch and Bear were working on the captain who had a gunshot wound to his shoulder, but nothing could have prepared them to see Steve's best friend trying to save the life of the man who had tried to kill him.

-oOo-

Two hours after the ordeal began Lindsey came out of the ER at Hoag hospital with two doctors and walked straight over to Bruce who took her in his arms. The officers stood and Sgt. Getraer stepped forward to meet the doctors. As they shook hands, the first doctor made introductions.

"I'm Dr. Paul Austin and this is my colleague Dr. Fiona Jones. Your captain is out of surgery now and is doing fine. It was a clean shot and the bullet was easily removed. You should be able to see him shortly. And the man Nurse Buchanan rode in with is his son?"

Several people nodded and Getraer answered. "Yes sir."

"As I understand it, Craig struck a large rock when he fell, resulting in a blunt force trauma injury to his head and neck. He is critical condition. We won't know more until the swelling in his brain goes down."

"How's Steve? Is he going to make it?" Sindy's voice quivered as she voiced everyone's concern.

Dr. Jones now stepped forward. "He has internal injuries, including his liver, kidneys and stomach. There is intense bruising across his chest where the seatbelt restrained him, three fractured ribs and a fractured right fibula. He's still in surgery and I do need to get back, but I wanted to let you all know that I can tell he's a fighter and is hanging in there. His condition will probably be listed as grave due to the severity of his injuries, but I honestly expect it to go to critical very shortly. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to head back."

They thanked the doctors and started the hated waiting game once more. Lindsey held onto Bruce tightly and he stroked her hair. She started to tremble as the tears flowed for the first time since her arrival.

"Hey, it's going to be okay. It's all right." He kissed her forehead and led her over to one of the couches. "Lindsey, he's going to be okay."

"We don't know that for sure, Bruce."

"But the doctor said-"

"The doctor wants to give you something to hold on to because she knows how much we've all been through!"

The weeks of worry and stress came crashing down on her and Lindsey snapped. She was standing now and everyone was looking at her as she started yelling at Bruce. "Don't you get it? She was sugar-coating it for you. He has severe internal injuries, Bruce. I was in the gallery watching the surgery and she wasn't nearly as positive in the OR as she was out here two minutes ago."

Bruce tried to hold her hand. "Linds, calm down."

"Calm down? She said he's going to come out of surgery in grave condition. Don't you realize what that means? From my experience it generally means the patient has about a thirty percent chance of survival. Thirty percent!"

What little hope Dr. Jones had offered vanished with these words, but she wasn't finished yet. "And not that anyone probably cares at the moment, but Craig isn't any better off that Steve. He hit his head hard when he fell, and there's a lot of swelling in his brain right now. If that swelling doesn't go down soon, he may need surgery, and even then he might not recover at all. So guess what? The captain may very well lose two officers under his command, one of them being his own son!"

She quickly ran from the room, leaving the others in stunned silence.

-oOo-

Mrs. Anderson was brought down to Hoag by Cadet Montez around twelve thirty that afternoon and was rushed into the captain's room right away. She was briefed by Dr. Austin on his condition as well as Craig's, and after being sure Will was doing well she went to visit her son. The doctor had let Sgt. Getraer in to see Craig and he was still there when Mrs. Anderson arrived.

"Carol."

"Oh Joe…"

He hugged her and felt her tremble. "It's going to be okay, Carol," he said as he led her to Craig's bedside. She sat beside her son and held his hand for several minutes before finally speaking.

"What happened to you, my love? How did it come to this? I can't believe the things I heard this morning about you, Craig. My son would never be so cruel. My son is honest, loving, strong…"

Joe couldn't keep from tearing up as he listened to the mother's anguish. He knew the man she was talking about and couldn't make any more sense of it than she could.

She took a shuddering breath, "I've prayed for you every day, did you know that? I've prayed that my precious boy would come back to us. Oh Craig, please don't leave me…"

Getraer walked over and put a comforting hand on her shoulder as she wept for her lost son. He had no words of encouragement to console her; no hope to offer for her son's recovery as he sadly led her back to be with her husband.

-oOo-

After wrapping up his part of the investigation at Pirate's Cove, Lt. Michelson arrived and searched out Getraer who filled him in on the captain's condition as well as what little they knew about Craig.

"What about McLeish?"

Joe sighed heavily. "He's still in surgery and according to Lindsey, it's not looking too good." He told Rick what she had said an hour before, noting that she had still not returned. "Nelson and Clark have gone looking for her. I don't want to imagine what she's going through."

-oOo-

Bruce had finally found her in the chapel, but she refused to speak to him. Bonnie had come with him and offered to stay with Lindsey, sending Bruce back to the waiting room. Once he was gone, Lindsey leaned on the pew in front of her, putting her head on her arms and started to tremble with pent up fear and frustration.

Bonnie came and sat beside her, offering silent support. They stayed that way for a few minutes until Lindsey finally spoke.

"Why did he do this to me, Bonnie? Why?"

"What do you mean, Lindsey? Are you talking about Craig?"

"No," came the forlorn reply. "Not Craig. Bruce. Why did he break up with me? I need him and he wants to help me, but…"

"What?" Bonnie looked at her in surprise. "But I thought-"

"We were going out until a few days ago." She looked up at the stained glass window with the cross as she wiped her eyes. "Apparently Steve and I are the only two people in the world who don't realize we're in love with each other and Bruce felt the need to 'free me' so I could figure out what I want. I didn't ask to be set free like some captive, Bonnie. Why can't anyone accept that we are just friends? The only time we've ever tried to get together is when our friends say 'Oh you're the perfect couple! Why aren't you together?' So we try to date but it never, ever works out. Why would this time have been any different?"

She looked at Bonnie's stunned expression as tears blurred her vision. "I do love Steve, Bonnie, but I'm not in love with him. I'm not the one seeing a love triangle where there isn't one. I'm being told to make a choice I've already made but no one believes it's the right one. And yet I know it is." Lindsey looked directly into Bonnie's eyes, "I even kissed Mickey last night, just to see if something had changed for me, or for him. I won't lie, it was nice, but it was nothing like when I kissed Bruce for the first time…"

Bonnie gave her a hug. "Why don't you tell him now?"

"He'll just think it's because I need him now. He's trying to be supportive for me and I know it's hard for him, but all I want is for him to hold me and he does but… God Bonnie, I hate this. What am I going to do?"

Out in the hallway Bruce stood listening to her confession, feeling a flush of shame color his cheeks and yet relief flood his heart. What the hell was I thinking? How could I have done this to her?

He quietly opened the door and walked over to the two women. Lindsey turned and her heart jumped as he approached, causing her to flush and she looked away from him. He sat down beside her as Bonnie quickly stood up.

"Lindsey, I'm so sorry…" His voice cracked with emotion and she looked up into Bruce's bright blue eyes. She tried to turn away but he took her in his arms.

"Just let me hold you."

She laid her head on his shoulder as he enveloped her in a comforting embrace and he sighed as huge weight lift from his soul. His decision felt so right a few days ago, but after last night and watching her today he realized just how much she meant to him. And it was tearing him apart to watch her go through this and try to maintain his distance.

Sharing their pain without words, they both felt bittersweet relief in each other's company.

-oOo-

Bonnie quietly left the chapel and let them be alone. As she walked back toward the waiting room, she saw Barry walk out the front doors and over to his squad car. The stoop of his shoulders concerned her and she followed him. When she reached the car he was leaning on the trunk with his head on his arms.

"Bear? What it is? What's wrong?"

He lifted his head, "Steve just came out of surgery and they're looking for Lindsey. He's not doing as well as Dr. Jones had hoped…"

"Oh Bear, no." He nodded and she put her arm around his waist. "What did she say?"

Bear looked over her head and out across the parking lot, fighting back tears. Bonnie could feel him tremble as he fought to control the intense emotions looking for release. "Lindsey was right," he finally said as his voice broke, unable to hold back any longer. "Dr. Jones is giving him a twenty-five percent chance to live."

-oOo-

Bonnie brought Lindsey and Bruce back to the waiting room and Dr. Jones took the nurse straight up to ICU. They walked into Steve's room and Lindsey went to his side, taking his hand gingerly in her own. The familiar whooshing of the respirator and the beeping of the heart monitor were the only noise in the room as Dr. Jones handed his chart to Lindsey.

"I somehow find it easier to take when I read the chart. Hearing the words seems to make it sound so much worse."

Lindsey nodded and took the chart in trembling hands. Some injuries were more severe than she had thought, and others were less, but putting them all together she knew the odds Steve was facing and she looked up at the doctor.

"He's a fighter. I won't let him die. And neither will the officers in the waiting room."

Dr. Jones nodded sympathetically. "I know. That's why you're up here with him."

"When can the others see him? Even just for two minutes. You have no idea how much it would mean to them. Please Dr. Jones."

She took the chart from Lindsey and glanced through it, then checked the various machines monitoring her patient and sighed.

"Not for another two hours minimum. He needs more time to stabilize, and I think having you here would be the best thing for him." She smiled at Lindsey's quizzical look. "I've talked with some of the ER staff. You have to know that things get around rather quickly, and your story is no exception."

Lindsey shook her head with a rueful smile. "It figures."

"Oh, I also want you to have this while you're here." She held out a pager. "I've informed the staff that you are to be paged along with any doctor or support staff if something happens to either Steve or Craig."

Lindsey took the pager reverently and held it in both hands like a priceless treasure.

"Thank you, Dr. Jones. This is… wow."

"You're welcome. Now, I do have one question for you. I've heard several versions of what happened out there today, and I'd like to put a stop to the rumors if I can. Did Craig really injure Officer McLeish and shoot his father?"

Lindsey squeezed Steve's hand for reassurance before responding. "Yes, Dr. Jones. Craig Anderson is responsible for Steve's injuries and the gunshot wound to the captain. And I was there and made every effort to save Craig's life when he fell." She took a shaky breath, "He needed my help and I'm sworn to render assistance to those in need. I'm not a hero, Dr. Jones. I just did what I had to do."

-oOo-

It was now early evening and the waiting was wearing on the officers spirits. No one wanted to leave until Steve showed some improvement or they were able to see him. Captain Anderson was brought to the waiting room in a wheelchair before being taken up to see his son, which helped everyone's morale. And Lindsey had managed to get the sergeant and the lieutenant up to see Steve, albeit for only three minutes.

After much coercing from Lindsey and a few of the nurses, the officers had some food brought in for dinner. At first no one wanted to eat, but the aroma of fried chicken wafting through the waiting area was more than the tired officers could handle, especially when some realized they hadn't eaten all day. As they ate, discussion turned to the days events. Several versions of the shooting had been shared over the course of the day, and Lindsey finally shared what she witnessed.

"The captain was about twenty yards from him, and Craig just stood there, pointing the gun at him. There was a snarl on his face and he said something, but between the wind and how far I was from him, I couldn't hear what he said. And then he no longer looked angry but peaceful, almost triumphant. Captain Anderson was just feet away and Craig brought the gun toward his head and shouted again. I think the captain was trying to grab the gun but they fell and that's when the gun went off."

They had stopped eating as they watched her tell the story and Lindsey paused, trying not to cry at the memory of the two men as they lay bleeding on the rocks. Bruce held her hand between his and she took a deep breath before continuing.

"When they fell, Craig's head hit a large, sharp rock. There was blood everywhere. That's when I screamed. I didn't know the captain was injured until Bear and Ponch pulled him off of Craig." She looked at them gratefully and then glanced around the room. "Everything happened so fast after that, I'm not sure-"

The beeping of her pager stopped her cold and she grabbed it from her belt. "No!" She jumped up from the couch in near panic.

Bruce grabbed her before she could run. "What's wrong? Who is it?"

Over the hospital speaker system a calm voice could be heard. "Code Blue, Room 2241. Code Blue, Room 2241."

"Craig's stopped breathing. Let me go!"

She wrenched free from his grip and ran out the door.


	10. Healing

At the captain's request, Lindsey stayed with his son's body until he was taken to the morgue. The officers of Central were stunned by Craig's death and were having a lot of trouble coping with it.

"I feel guilty for being glad, but I'm not glad," Ponch said to Jon after Lt. Michelson came in and announced Craig's passing.

"You're not the only one, partner," Jon said as he put an arm around his friend. "He was still one of us, but yet… damn it!" He hung his head, unable to articulate how he felt.

It was the same for the others. Sindy wanted to cry but just couldn't make the tears come. Bear and Grossie each held Bonnie and Kathy, taking comfort in their camaraderie, but wondering at the bizarreness of everything. And then the captain was wheeled in by Mrs. Anderson.

He looked around at his officers with tear filled eyes. "I can't imagine what any of you are thinking right now. And frankly, I don't want to know. The past month or so has been hell for all of us for a myriad of reasons, all centering on my son." Carol put her hand on his shoulder and squeezed it gently in support. He paused to keep his composure before speaking again. "I wish I had something to tell you; some nugget of truth as to why he did what he did, or say 'this is what he was thinking'. But I don't. And now we will never know why."

"Maybe I can help with that."

They all looked to the doorway to see Lindsey standing there with a crumpled piece of paper in her hands. Her face was covered in tears as she moved into the room, looking at no one. Her hands trembled as they held the paper, and she looked like she wanted to flee, but was forced to stay and deliver a horrible message. She finally looked up at Lt. Michelson, brown eyes filled with pain too deep for words.

"You'll probably want this for your investigation. I forgot I had it." Her voice trembled as she spoke. "This was with Steve when I saw him in the van. It's the reason… well, maybe I should just read it." She looked down at the paper, gathering her courage. Bruce started to move to her but she shook her head hard and he stopped. After a minute, she found her voice and began to read.

_Lindsey:_

_I never wanted to hurt anyone. Please make them believe that. They trust_  
you and will believe you. I've made mistakes in the past, but I know now  
that he made me do it.

_I have a monster living inside of me that no medicine or doctor can chase_  
away. This must be what Dr. David Banner felt like before his monster  
took over; but mine likes to hurt people and his doesn't. I want to stop him.  
I have to stop him and you can help me. You have to make me believe Steve  
is dying and then get him out of here. I promise I won't hurt Sindy. I will  
do everything I can to keep him from hurting her.

_I know Revenge has made me do many horrible things to my fellow officers,_  
things I am truly ashamed of. Tell my dad that it wasn't me, and that I want  
him to be proud of me. I'm doing this for him. He deserved better than what  
he got for a son.

_Please tell them I'm sorry. I am going to make sure Revenge can not hurt them_  
ever again. I took an oath as a soldier of the law to uphold the honor and integrity  
of the CHP. And I will do whatever it takes to do that, no matter the cost.

_Craig._

-oOo-

In the days that followed, the Getraers and the Andersons sat for hours helping each other cope with what happened. Counselors were brought in from Sacramento and unlike a few weeks prior, many if not most officers utilized their services. Besides the turmoil Craig had caused, Steve was still not out of the woods yet, causing more stress and fear for everyone. Craig's final letter had answered some questions but created others, and many officers struggled to reconcile the evil done to them with the repentant person in the note.

Even more confusing for them was whether or not to attend the funeral. They wanted to show support and respect for their captain, but at the same time several officers couldn't stomach showing any kind of respect to Craig at all. Sindy, Jon and Bruce had the most trouble with it and spent many an hour discussing what they should do, if anything at all.

The Commissioner had flown down from Sacramento to talk to Lt. Michelson about the situation and was informed the funeral would not be a typical police ceremony at the request of the family, and he gratefully agreed. He had been fully briefed and had even seen Craig's final note, but still felt that a full ceremonial funeral would be inappropriate. So he gave his blessing on a civilian funeral, but did allow Craig to be buried in uniform.

Mrs. Anderson personally asked Lindsey to come to the service and she accepted without hesitation, knowing that it was the right thing to do. Later that afternoon she told Bruce of her decision.

"You aren't upset, are you, Bruce?"

"You need to do what's right for you, Linds, not for me. I'll deal with this in my own way. But thank you for telling me."

The funeral was indeed small and the media was kept at bay as much as possible. The pastor spoke to the small gathering of family and friends about Craig's hopes and dreams, and touched briefly on the unknown instability that eventually caused him to sacrifice his life to save his fellow officers. A few cousins spoke about him as a child and the fun they had, and then his father stood up in full dress uniform. He was one of only three officers there; Getrater and Michelson being the others as representatives from the CHP.

Captain William Anderson stood at the podium and spoke of a young man who wanted nothing more than to be an officer just like his dad, and told of how hard he worked to become good enough to attend academy. He told those assembled how proud he was to watch as his son went through training and then when he finally graduated, he administered the CHP Code of Honor to the cadets.

While he spoke, Will was playing with a small object on the podium, sometimes sliding it from side to side, other times caressing it or clutching it in his hands. When he spoke of Craig taking the oath, he showed them what he had in his hand.

"This is the badge I pinned on my son eight years ago. It is the same badge he discarded the day the sickness inside overtook him."

Tears filled his eyes as he nodded to the attendants off to the side and watched as they walked over and opened the casket. He walked over and pinned the star onto the still form and gently caressed the cold, unfeeling face before walking back to the podium again.

"There are those out there who would not agree with me when I say this, but I truly believe that in his final moments, my son acted like a true officer, sacrificing his life to save those his inner demon tried to destroy."

He stepped down and sat back in the first pew, holding his wife close. The pastor stood to give the closing prayer and when he was done, he asked for the pallbearers to step forward.

Before the men in the front rows could stand, the doors to the sanctuary opened. People turned to see who was coming in and Lindsey suddenly gasped, covering her mouth in shock. Those assembled watched as seven uniformed CHP officers walked down the isle side by side in two rows. Captain Anderson looked over at Rick and Joe in surprise and confusion, and all three stood as the procession approached the end of the isle.

Officers Bruce Nelson and Sindy Cahill stopped behind the front pew and stood at attention. Those behind them followed suit and then Bruce spoke to the captain.

"Captain Anderson, sir. We have come to pay our respects to you and your son. Those of us representing the Central Division of the California Highway Patrol respectfully request to act as pallbearers."

Overcome by the simple yet profound statement, Capt. Anderson could do little more than nod his approval.

Bruce gave the command and they marched up to the casket and each took a position by a handle. Bruce and Sindy were at the head, Ponch and Jon at the middle while Turner and Baricza stood at the end. Grossie stood at the head of the casket to lead the way since he was still using a crutch to get around.

After the mourners filed out, the officers carried the coffin to the hearse and carefully loaded it inside. The three senior officers looked on with pride and sadness, knowing full well what it cost the officers to do this. Once they were done, they turned to face the captain, standing at attention in a single file line. As if given a non-verbal command, they all saluted their captain, who proudly returned the gesture. He gave the order to dismiss, and they stood at attention once more, then silently walked to their cars or motors and drove away.

Not everyone quite understood the significance of what they had just witnessed, but all were awed by their reverence.

-oOo-

Lindsey returned to Hoag hospital that afternoon to continue her vigil. Steve was still in a coma but was slowly making progress. As she approached his room, she was surprised to hear voices above the noise of the respirator. Peeking in, she could see Jon and Bruce standing to one side of the bed with Sindy on the other. She was talking to Steve as if he were awake, telling him about the funeral.

"We felt it was the right thing to do, Steve. We couldn't really do it for Craig, but for the captain. He needed to know we were there for him because he lost his son." Sindy felt her throat constrict as emotion flooded through her and she looked up at Jon, unable to continue.

He walked around and put a hand on her shoulder and spoke to Steve. "The seven of us felt we had to be there. Craig was still an officer…" he trailed off and tried not to remember the chase a few weeks back that could have cost him his own life. "It was just the right thing to do, and we hope you can accept that when you wake up."

Not wanting to intrude, Lindsey went over to the nurses' station until the three officers came out. She didn't have to wait for long, and she followed them out to the waiting room.

They had all shed some tears, but looked like they had made peace with some of their inner turmoil. Jon and Sindy decided to head out but Bruce stayed behind. He sat down beside Lindsey and took her hand in his.

"It's finally over," he said in a voice husky with emotion.

Lindsey put her hand to the side of his face and gently kissed him, then held him tightly as his healing began.

-oOo-

Steve's recovery was slow, but after ten days he was stable enough to transport up to Cedars Sinai. With the exception of the day of Craig's funeral, Lindsey had stayed with him the entire time at Hoag and rode back to L.A. with him in the ambulance. They were escorted by Sgt. Getraer and Lt. Michelson in front on motorcycles, followed by Ponch and Jon on their motors, then Bear and Sindy in their cruisers.

It was early evening of their first day at Cedars and Steve had been put in a private room. Lindsey was looking over his chart when Dr. Phillips and Dr. Fox walked in, followed by several first year interns. Dr. Phillips explained Steve's situation and condition, pointing out that Lindsey was on staff and was to be included in any decisions made in regards to the officer's care. He then asked Dr. Fox to continue the rounds and spoke to Lindsey.

"I want you to know that I will personally be responsible for your friend's care. I have been following the story in the news and I called my colleague Dr. Jones once I knew where he had been taken."

Lindsey looked startled. "You know Dr. Jones?"

Dr. Phillips smiled, a twinkle in his eye. "I made sure she was the one who worked on him, my dear. She was my protégé many years ago; served her residency here as a matter of fact. I wanted to be sure your friend had the finest doctors this state could provide."

Staring at him in wonder, she felt a rush of gratitude for his kindness. "Dr. Phillips, how can I ever thank you?"

"There is no need, my dear. I have been more than impressed with you and how you've dealt with adversity this past month, and dealt with those in authority who may have needed a swift kick in the ass." She turned crimson and he chuckled. "You were right that day, Ms. Buchanan. I am 'a pompous man with incredible skill at saving lives.' And my bedside manner can leave a lot to be desired mostly due to my, I believe the term you used was, 'freaking ego.' I can't say that things have changed much in that regard, but when someone earns my respect, everyone knows it. And you have my respect. In spades."

She tried to speak but the rush of emotion in her disabled all speech. She had given up trying not to cry days ago and she put a hand to her heart and looked at him with gratitude.

"You are most welcome," he said kindly.

-oOo-

It was another two days before Steve finally regained consciousness. Captain Anderson had come by to visit and was talking to Lindsey when he noticed movement from the bed.

"Did you see that? I think he's trying to open his eyes."

Lindsey smiled sadly. "I wish to God that was true, captain. But unfortunately, it's just an involuntary- oh!"

She had been holding Steve's hand and as she spoke, his fingers slowly started to close around hers. As his grip tightened, his eyes started to slowly flutter open and Lindsey spoke softly to him.

"Mickey?"

Will stood up anxiously. "Should I get a nurse?"

Lindsey nodded. "Yes. Tell them he's coming around and to page Dr. Phillips stat." She rubbed his hand between hers and kept talking to him as the captain left the room. "Come on Steve, open your eyes. Please Mickey..."

Slowly his eyes opened and he blinked at the light, trying to focus on the blurry face in front of him. As he became more aware, he realized something was in his throat and he started to panic.

The heart monitor started to beep faster, and Lindsey knew she had to keep him calm. She dropped the side bed rail and sat beside him, placing her hand on his face while still holding his hand.

"Mickey, its Buck. Listen to me. You're okay. You're safe. Don't fight the respirator, honey. It's helping you breathe. C'mon, Mickey, focus on my voice. That's it. Squeeze my hand… Good. Just listen to me, Steve. You're going to be okay."

She kept up a steady stream of conversation as Capt. Anderson returned with Dr. Phillips and Nurse Karen. The doctor turned to the captain as he grabbed the privacy curtain.

"Captain, if you could please step out while we examine Officer McLeish? Someone will come and get you when we are finished."

"Of course, doctor. I'll be in the waiting room."

The curtain slid closed and Will stood there for a moment before walking back to the waiting room. When he opened the door, he was surprised to see Barry, Jon, Ponch and Kathy already there. He smiled and walked over to them.

"Steve just woke up."

Their looks of utter relief and joy were a welcome sight. Kathy was near tears and Bear gave her a hug. Jon let out a huge sigh of relief, shaking his head.

"That's the best news we've had all day. How's he doing, captain? Can we go see him?"

Ponch put a hand on his shoulder. "Slow down, Jon. You're starting to sound like me!"

They laughed and the captain smiled. "This just happened a few minutes ago, so we'll have to wait for a green light before going in."

It was another forty-five minutes before Karen came in to find them.

"Lindsey asked me to come and get you, Capt. Anderson. Oh, you've multiplied!"

All five officers stood when she entered and the captain grinned. "Yes, we tend to do that."

"Well, I was told to come and get you, captain, but I don't think it would hurt if someone else wanted to join you."

After a brief discussion, Kathy and the captain followed the nurse into Steve's room. He had been mildly sedated to keep from fighting the respirator and he lifted his right hand slightly when he saw the two new arrivals.

Will walked over and sat down beside the bed, suddenly overcome with emotion. He had trouble looking at Steve and cleared his throat more than once.

Lindsey had greeted Kathy with a hug and as they were talking, realized the captain was struggling. She squeezed Kathy's shoulder and they walked over to Capt. Anderson. Kathy stood closest to the bed on his right side and placed one hand on his shoulder, then took Steve's hand in the other. As soon as she took his hand, Steve squeezed firmly and Kathy smiled.

"It's good to see you too, Steve."

He gave her hand another squeeze and then released it, moving toward the edge of the bed and he looked at the captain.

Lindsey could read the intensity in his eyes even though he was sedated, and she instinctively knew what he wanted.

"Captain? I know this is hard for you. Believe me, I do. But he's not mad at you, sir. You didn't do anything to him and Steve knows that." She rested her hand on his arm. "Look at your officer, sir. He needs you."

Looking down the captain could see Steve's hand reaching off the side of the bed for him. He slowly moved his own hand toward the bed, unshed tears glistening in his eyes.

Lindsey's heart seemed to stop for a moment as she recognized the look of pain and confusion on the older man's face; it was the same look Craig had given her. Her head snapped up as the heart monitor picked up speed and she knew that Steve had seen it, too. At least that was what she felt caused his reaction.

"Sir, you need to take his hand. If he doesn't stay calm, no one will be able to see him and he needs us. Please, captain."

Will Anderson grabbed his officer's hand and held it tightly as the tears finally fell. Steve responded by squeezing his captain's hand as hard as he could.

Kathy stepped back and the captain moved closer to the bed, reaching through the rail to hold Steve's arm as well. By unspoken agreement, the two women backed away and quietly left the two wounded souls to start on their journey to healing.

-oOo-

After two more weeks, Steve was finally going to be released from the hospital. He was anxious to get out and kept pestering Lindsey to track down a doctor to sign his release form.

"Good Lord, Mickey, relax! You aren't the only patient in this hospital, you know."

"I just want to go home and sleep in my own bed, Buck. You can appreciate that, can't you?"

She stopped filling the small travel bag and turned to face him, hands on hips. "I spent ten days in Orange County with you at Hoag, Steve. Ask me that question again. I dare you."

He saw the glint in her eyes but her tone carried far more threat and he backed down. "Okay, okay. I'm sorry. Hey, stop packing and c'mere a minute. I wanna talk to you about something."

Lindsey gave him a wary look and sat down on the edge of the bed beside him.

"Yes?"

Taking her hand, he looked deep into her eyes making her self-conscious. "I wanted to thank you for everything you have done for me…" she started to interrupt but he put his fingers on her lips. "No. You'll listen to me and you won't say anything until I'm done. You're an amazing woman, Lindsey Buchanan, and I am so very thankful that you're my friend. It's your love and friendship that sustained me through this whole ordeal and I could never in a million years properly thank or repay you."

His vision blurred and he quickly wiped his eyes, then realized Lindsey was doing the same thing. He brushed her cheek and smiled.

"Everyone keeps telling me about what happened that day and how you risked your own life to save me and Sindy, and it kills me to try and imagine what you were going through. I want you to know that you mean the world to me, Buck, and I can't imagine what my life would be like without you. I wanted to give you something to show you how much you mean to me, so..."

He reached under his pillow and pulled out a small, black velvet box and Lindsey couldn't help but gasp. Panic rose like a wave in her chest and she looked at Steve with fear in her eyes.

"I had Bruce pick it out for me since I was otherwise indisposed."

A look of complete shock replaced the fear and Steve chuckled as her hand flew to her mouth.

"Bruce picked it out?"

"Yeah, Bruce. You know the guy you've been dating without my interference for the past three weeks?"

"But..."

"Lindsey." He squeezed her hand and suddenly looked a little uncomfortable. "The night I asked him to get this for you, Bruce and I had a good long talk. It's not like I could go anywhere and I guess he figured having me as a captive audience couldn't hurt. We talked about you and what you have sacrificed to help the both of us and he told me how much he really cares for you. Then he asked me how I feel about you. Romantically, that is."

Her mind flew back to the night of the accident and the kiss they shared; his words rang in her head. Why didn't it feel this good six years ago? I don't think I can share you. Oh hell, I don't want to share you with anyone.

Her heart was pounding in her ears and she clutched the box to her chest. "And what did you say, Mickey?"

He tucked a stray hair behind her ear and caressed her face again. For the first time in her life, she could not read in his eyes how he felt, nor could she truly guess his answer.

"Open the box, Lindsey."

She was crying now and shook her head. "No. Not until you tell me."

"Trust me. Open it." There was intensity in his gaze she had never seen before and she slowly opened the box.

The diamond and emerald heart pendant sparkled as the light caressed it.

"Oh, Mickey…" Her tears fell in earnest as she touched the gems reverently. "It's, it's beautiful."

"Do you remember what you said to me the night I 'proposed' to you?"

"I said a lot of things that night."

"About marrying me."

"Oh. I told you that you needed to court me, take me on dates and buy me pretty trinkets…" She gasped. "Oh Steve, no…"

Taking the box from her he removed the necklace, undid the clasp and put it around her neck. When he was done, he put his hand over the pendant.

"You have first and foremost always been my friend, and I don't want to lose that. I love you and will do anything in the world for you. You mean more to me than anyone and I will do anything and everything in my power to protect you and see you happy."

"Steve, please…"

"Let me finish. When Bruce asked me if I had romantic feelings for you, I could see a passion for you in his eyes that is different from anything I feel. People say we were made for each other and they're right. We were made to be best friends. And I want you to know you will always have a piece of my heart."

Placing her hand over his, she pressed it to her chest.

"And you will always have a piece of mine." She leaned forward and embraced him, her tears wetting his shoulder. She sat back a few moments later and wiped her eyes, then held the heart in her hand, nervously sliding it back and forth on the chain.

"So, you're not proposing to me?"

He laughed and shook his head. "Why, did you want me to?"

She smacked his arm sharply. "Then why did you let me think you were? Oh, you make me crazy!" She got off the bed and started jamming things into the travel bag, keeping her back to him.

"Buck, come on."

"No. It was mean." She turned to face him with a look of hurt and anger. "You confused the hell outta me when you 'proposed' to me six weeks ago. And then the night of the accident you tell me you're jealous of Bruce and you don't want to share me with anyone. So what am I supposed to think, Steve? Tell me that." She turned her back to him once more and continued packing.

"I don't remember the night of the accident," he said seriously, and he watched her back stiffen in response.

"You may not remember that night, but I do. Vividly. After you told me you didn't want to share me with anyone, I kissed you."

Now it was his turn to look stunned. "You what? But you and Bruce…"

She turned to face him again. "He thought you were in love with me so he freed me to 'make my choice.' I couldn't believe the timing; we were both told to give it a try, so I thought, 'why not?' So I kissed you and you kissed me back and it was  _really_  nice but then you got all defensive because I guess it confused you and then you-"

"Hey, slow down there, turbo! Lindsey, I didn't know." She glared at him then looked away blinking back the tears. Steve held out a hand to her. "Come here."

She slowly walked back to the bed and let him take her hand.

"I admit it. I wanted you to think I was proposing because of what I had done before. But if I had known, or more precisely remembered what happened that night, I never would have done it this way." He pulled her toward him and she plopped down on the bed. "I'm sorry, Buck. I really am. Forgive me, please?"

She sniffled and nodded, looking down at her hands. "You're a brat and you make me crazy."

"I guess that'll have to do for now," he said with a wry smile. She gave him a hug and he whispered in her ear. "Was it a good kiss?"

She sat up quickly in shock. "Mickey!"

"Hey, I've gotta know."

Lindsey blushed, smiling at the memory. "Yeah, it was. You asked me why it didn't feel that good six years ago."

"I did? It must have been a really good one then. Wanna refresh my memory?" She smacked him again. "Ow!"

"You deserved that. And no, I will not refresh your memory because as nice as it was, kissing Bruce is nicer." She stood up and smiled at his shocked expression. "Sorry Mickey, but the truth hurts. Hey, does this mean that you will finally let me see Bruce in peace?"

Steve smiled. "Yes, Buck. I won't interfere anymore. That's why I wanted him to pick out the pendant. I told him what I wanted and that I trusted his judgment. I don't think I could have done any better myself, and I felt it should be from both of us."

-oOo-

Half an hour later, Steve was being helped into Lindsey's car. Once he was settled, she got into the drivers seat and pulled away from the entrance.

"I'll bet you're happy to be leaving, huh Mickey?"

"Yeah, I guess," he said slowly.

She glanced over at him with a worried look. "Hey. You okay? What's wrong?"

"I dunno, it's just weird to finally be out."

"Dr. Richards said that you need to give yourself time to adjust-"

"I know what the shrink said!" It came out much harsher than he intended, and Lindsey's cheeks turned red. Steve sighed heavily and ran his hand through his hair. "I'm sorry, Buck. I didn't mean it." He took her hand and gave it a squeeze.

Lindsey drove for a few minutes and then pulled into shopping center and parked the car. She turned in her seat to face him.

"Steve, you have to talk about it some time. I've talked to Dr. Richards and he said that you remember more than you're letting on and you have to get it out of your system. You aren't the only one who suffered at Craig's hands, but you are the only one who was robbed of the chance at closure at his funeral. Please talk to me, Mickey."

He sat there in silence, staring straight ahead at the street in front of them. She saw his jaw tighten and knew he was warring with reason and emotion. His hands had balled into fists and she gently took his left hand in hers. Steve finally looked over at her with eyes that reflected deep pain.

"He took such pleasure in hurting me, but would then apologize for it later…"

He told her what he could remember of his time as Craig's captive, not realizing how badly he had been traumatized. Lindsey told him about the letter and had shared the details of the funeral with him. He was glad to hear about the officers acting as pallbearers and their decision touched him deeply. It was a good hour before Lindsey started the car again and drove him home.

As soon as they walked in, Steve went straight to his bed and was asleep within ten minutes. Lindsey sat on the edge of the bed and held his hand, watching him sleep. His eyes were puffy from crying, but he had a look of tranquility that was not there before. She bent down and brushed her lips across his forehead and crept from the room, allowing some of his serenity to creep into her own soul.

-oOo-

A few days after Steve came home, Lindsey handed over caretaking duties to Baricza. It seemed half of Central signed up to stay with him or do odd errands, take him to physical therapy or whatever he needed help with. It was an uneventful day of watching TV and talking, until about four thirty. Barry turned off the television and turned to Steve.

"What've you got here that's edible?"

He shrugged. "I dunno. Linds went shopping yesterday I think. I can go take a look if you want."

"Nah. I'm not cookin' and I sure as heck don't trust you to feed us. How about we go out?"

Steve smiled and shook his head. "Bear, I'm sure there's something-"

"Nope. Now get your crutches and let's go cuz I'm not carrying you."

They laughed as Steve grabbed his crutches and they headed out the door.

"I found this great Italian place on Hollywood Blvd. and Las Palmas," Bear said as they drove down the street. "Their pasta primavera is incredible, and you've got to try their breadsticks!"

A few minutes later, they were ushered into the back of the restaurant and a rousing cheer went up.

"McLeish!"

"What the hell?" He looked over at Barry who had a huge smile on his face.

"We didn't want to all try and cram into your tiny little apartment, so we thought we'd drag you out for some fun." Bear slapped him on the back and helped him navigate through the small crowd.

It took about ten minutes for Steve to greet everyone before he was finally able to sit down at a table. The atmosphere was happy and relaxed, and the red and white checkerboard tablecloths and Italian music lent themselves to the mood. Bruce and Lindsey were sitting one table over from him and Steve smiled as Bruce put his arm around her and she snuggled into him. Grossie was regaling his table with some wild story while Ponch was throwing napkins at him.

Meals were ordered and conversation flowed. After salads were served, Joe stood up and addressed the group.

"All right people, settle down…"

"Watch out," Ponch said loudly. "That's his 'briefing' voice!"

The sergeant smiled. "Thank you, Frank. Now, may I have your attention please? Thank you. As you all know, we're here to welcome McLeish back-"

He was cut off by loud cheers and whistles and Steve smiled self-consciously. Barry started clapping and soon the whole room was alive with applause. Lindsey smiled at him and motioned for Steve to stand, and he did so reluctantly. Joe held his hand up for silence and they finally quieted down.

"As I was saying, we all wanted to get together on your behalf and welcome you home."

Steve smiled. "Thanks Sarge. I really appreciate it." He sat back down and Joe continued.

"It's been a rough couple of months for us and I don't want to dwell on the past, but I do want to say that I am very proud of this station and everyone in it. On behalf of myself, Lt. Michelson and Capt. Anderson, we wanted to say thank you all for jobs well done. And once again, welcome back, McLeish."

The applause was more subdued this time but not any less heartfelt. As the meals arrived, conversations picked up again and Steve looked at his friends and colleagues with admiration. They'd been through hell and back, and they all bore the scars, whether physical or emotional. They stood by their captain when by rights they could have turned on him. His best friend carried him through one of the darkest times in his life, and she was now in the arms of a man Steve knew he could trust.

He glanced over to his captain and stared into the face he knew so well; one that sometimes still haunted his sleep, albeit a younger version. He knew he could trust this man, too, as well as his sergeant and the people around him to help him through the rest of his recuperation.

The captain glanced up and saw Steve looking his way and nodded to him, raising his glass slightly in a toasting gesture. He couldn't be heard over the noise, but Steve could read his lips when he said "To your health."

Steve raised his glass in return, nodding and smiling. He could see a shadow of pain cross the officer's face and he silently returned the toast. To your health.  _And may your son finally have the peace he didn't have in life._

The end

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, I want to thank my Beta (and new friend!) Zaedah for bringing out the full potential of this story. Your notes and comments were beyond helpful and this story would not exist as it is right now without your generous care and guidance. Thank you from the bottom of my eternally grateful heart. You are wonderful.
> 
> As always, many heartfelt thanks to my Audio-Beta: my darling husband. Many of your ideas made it in here, and you helped me see that some of mine should be kicked out. You are a wonderful help and I thank you for listening to me read sections to you and offering input. You rock.
> 
> To Karen, Sue and Irene: I hope you like your characters! They were fun to write. :)
> 
> To Ginger and Leanne: Did you notice that I snuck some Voyagers! in there? LOL How can I not put the references in when Phineas started me on my writing path? :D
> 
> And above all, Thank You God for the gift of writing. You are my Muse and inspiration and I thank You for using me to make people happy.
> 
> I never thought I'd end up writing so many stories, least of all for CHiPs. This was by far the most intense and engrossing story I've written so far, and I will miss having it around to work on. I hope it met your expectations. Thanks for reading. And please review!  
> Dayna


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